A Temporary Blog on Applying to Grad School

My Final Post

2010-08-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

Just for fun wish list for going back to school:

To Have

A bike for me and dw, and kids bike seats on the back of each of them
A helmet
Good bike locks for each of us
A laptop (I am crazy for the new lightweight Toughbook covertible, but hey, I'll even settle for a netbook...just something hopefully reliable I can use for notetaking and school work)
A Kindle (did you see the new Kindle is out and it is finally supposed to be readable in sun?)
A printer (turns out there is a charge per sheet for printing things out at school these days...phooey!)
Some clothes I feel comfortable in (time for the every-15-year wardrobe update that I can never afford LOL)
A fix to those little plumbing and electrical issues, etc., in the house that we can tolerate, but that we can't leave for a renter
And if I am getting really dreamy...maybe an iPad

To Shed

Our second car
My broken laptop
My house for 9 months out of the year
50 pounds

Closing Out This Blog

2010-08-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

So I will no longer be blogging on this blog, at least for the time being. I do not know if I will return to make this blog into something else when I finally enter grad school for real.

In case anyone is wondering, I decided to defer enrollment at YDS by one year. In the meantime, I have kindly been offered a one-class arrangement at one of the other schools to which I was accepted, and I will be dipping my toes in grad school life by attending that one class (which is held one evening per week) for the fall term. I have registered for that class, and borrowed a few of the books required from the minister with whom I am working. Fall term begins in early(ish) September.

In terms of my work and living arrangements, here is what has been established and what is still up in the air. A committee met to look at my offers to continue working full-time, as well as their other staffing options. They evaluated the situation, and decided to recommend that a search committee be formed and work on finding my replacement this year. So I will be able to move to my school location and make a clean break. I will need to find at least a part-time job in the new city in order to help keep a roof over my kid's heads and food on the table.

The one painful thing that has occurred is that after the committee made its recommendations, the finance committee decided to recommend my replacement be hired at part-time to deal with finance shortfalls. Since the whole conversation about me leaving was initiated because I couldn't work part-time, I am sure you can understand why this hurt me greatly. That said, there were a number of factors considered in the original committee's recommendation to go into search, and that recommendation didn't stem from a desire to change directions, so I think what happened with the finance committee was largely that they backed into this position after it was determined I would be replaced. I am working on letting that go.

We are hoping to be able to find renters for our home, but it is not looking particularly hopeful. For this reason, we are also planning to save anything we get back in taxes in the coming year to cushion either a loss of rental income some months or a need to rent at a much lower amount than our mortgage. I am not sure what we will do after the first year. It may be that we attempt to sell the house as well, and just see what kind of offers we get, though we are reluctant right now to invest in preparing the house to sell it with the way the market is right now. We will see. I'm trying to just stay calm and take it one day at a time.

I want to thank the few of you who read this blog, who posted supportive messages, and kindly cheered me on when I thought I would drown in all this. I also want to thank a few of you who took from your own money to make a donation toward the application fees and testing. I simply would not have been able to apply without your help. The money just wasn't there...that's a fact. So thank you for your generosity because it made my dream of going to grad school come true.

I am still actively blogging, as I hope you are already aware. I am blogging on religious leadership here: http://religiousleader.blogspot.com/.

I am also starting up a small business as a parenting coach, and you can find out all about that here: http://aparentcoach.blogspot.com/. If you are asked to login to see the site, it is because I have not yet opened for business. I hope to be open within one month. Please do come again.

My final post will be made momentarily. It is really for my own purposes as an outlet. Just for fun, I am making a wish list as I head off to school. I know I am dreamin', but hey, that's what this blog has been all about. After that, it is all serious business!

Future Blogging

2010-04-24T21:18:00.000-07:00

So I am going to keep this blog up until I get through decisions about deferment and my negotiations at work. Meanwhile, I've started what I think will be my next blog: religiousleader.blogspot.com. Enjoy!

My School

2010-04-20T12:58:00.001-07:00

I will be attending Yale Divinity School.

The Negotiation Dance

2010-04-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

So I am in this awkward phase of the process. I've picked my school, communicated my decisions, and now am waiting to hear back (hopefully I'll hear back) when the schools receive the letters. But the most uncomfortable stuff is at work. You'll recall I work in a non-ordained ministry in a congregation.

First, I've requested a deferment with the school, and now I have to figure out if I am going to be starting school this fall or next fall. Still, I had to open up a conversation at work about the future of my employment. I work in a field in which it can take a year to hire, so advance notice is really helpful. In some ways it would be better to just be submitting my resignation. Instead, I am conversing with them about whether me working on a limited/part-time basis would be mutually beneficial, and if so, under what type of arrangement. All the while, I am holding up the possibility that it might be best for one or the other of us if we part ways.

At times, the conversation feels highly generative, mutually supportive, frank yet compassionate, and productive. Other times it feels, well, laced with distrust. I've only been there a few years, and have come to be there after my predecessor served the congregation for 25 years...soooo, we are just settling into our relationship with one another, and now I've thrown this in the mix. They took a bet on me, and they won't get their full returns no matter what way we dice it...no matter what, I am going to be there for at least a handful of years shorter than we all anticipated at the starting gate, and probably much shorter than that.

Here is what I am struggling with tonight. The congregation is in the midst of a big ministerial transition as is, for another reason, and they've been handling it really well. I worry that I will become the "safer" outlet for that anxiety, and yes, my ego is slightly involved because whenever I am going to leave, I'd really like it to be under conditions in which people can still see the good things I've done over the last several years. I am not sure I am going to have that experience, however, because in this negotiation dance, I can already feel the tidal wave of congregational anxiety is right behind us.

(P.S. Just to make things a little harder, tonight I also learned funding was cut for a position we were adding to my department...as expected revenues have not surfaced. This is TOUGH stuff!)

...And a funny little note...

2010-04-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am watching a video of interviews with "visionary ministers" who have led congregations through significant growth. Among the faces I recognize on the video (both the ministers and the congregational and denominational leaders listening and reflecting back the conversations), I personally know a fair number. It makes me think how many mentors I already have as I enter into this period of concentrated formation.

Okay

2010-04-16T21:12:00.000-07:00

So letters are out to all three schools...albeit missing the official paperwork and deposit money for the school I have chosen. I'll name the school on this blog officially next week.

This was such a tough decision, but now that it is made and letters (as hard as they were to write) are on their way, I am feeling eager to prepare for the future. It is a lighter feeling, and one that dances joyfully with gratitude, even as I struggle with the next set of decisions on the table.

Thank you, God, for bringing me to where I need to be now. I am listening, following, and submitting, as I wait to know what you will have me do next.

Decision Made

2010-04-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

I have made my decision. I am ready to move forward. Now I have to communicate to all schools including the one whose offer I am accepting. I think this will be a more difficult step than it seems it should be, as the act of closing doors is always a sad and slightly scary thing to do (What am I missing out on? What could have been my experience if only...?). Once I share my decisions with the schools -- which I hope to do this week -- I will post more.

Very Nervous

2010-04-11T20:48:00.000-07:00

I am really fumbling during this time of decision-making, which only exaserbates my anxiety about tomorrow's meeting at work, during which I will discuss with several key people my decision to go to school and the resulting decisions about my work. I have done a lot of preparation (have just a bit more to finish tonight before bed), so I should feel ready, but the butterflies in my tummy are going strong!

Feeling Grateful

2010-04-05T22:42:00.001-07:00

I head to bed tonight feeling such gratitude. For all of you in my "real life" crowd who participated in my email discussions and my "solicited advice" telephone conference tonight, I am so thankful.

I took everything each and every one of you said to heart, whether you said a lot or a little, and whether you spoke about logistics, about the different educational opportunities themselves, or about the spirituality of this decision.

After the phone call tonight, G. and I had a long heart-to-heart. I still have not arrived at a decision, but I feel much more clear. We also began to visualize a plan for housing/etc. that will hopefully prove useful wherever I attend. Please keep your fingers crossed that we find as we proceed that these plans are do-able.

As I mentioned on the phone tonight, I will not be making a final decision until the 15th, but I will keep you posted. Thank you again so much for your time and thoughtful questions and responses to the decisions before me.

Why Does My Wife Not Want to Be a DJ?

2010-03-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

I had the most brilliant idea tonight. See one thing we are worrying about right now with me going back to school is money. I really want (and quite possibly will need) to reduce my hours at work in order to go to school. But there is NO money to spare as is, so G. is really going to have to start earning more. Currently she is doing childcare in our home, which is working out okay, but it won't be enough to cover our behinds when I go down in hours.

So tonight I was talking to a member of the church I serve, and he was explaining to me how he got into DJing as a side business. He stumbled upon it when he needed to recoup some money that he lost when he bought sound equipment for a band he was in that broke up shortly after. He picked up one extra piece of equipment, DJ'd a few gigs for free, and batta boom, batta bing, he had himself an easy way to make a few extra hundred dollar a month. He doesn't do weddings, as he is a teacher by day and keeps to the more low key gigs (things like kids parties and school dances LOL). He gets all of his jobs via word-of-mouth and his initial investment was a couple thousand dollars, but he said that his charge is generally around $400. Apparently he knows some folks who DJ at weddings for up to $1300 per job. You have to be GOOD to charge that and still get jobs, of course (personally I think that is a total rip off to charge that much), but I was amazed when he said that his friends use the same equipment he does.

So I thought, "Aha! That is a crazy great idea for G!" We could invest now from our tax refund (assuming we are getting one, but that is another story...my efile has now officially been rejected twice and the reasons given make NO sense), and G would have a great job. She LOVES music, she LOVES chatting with people, she enjoys the party atmosphere. She doesn't like being "in front" of crowds, but having interviewed a bunch for our wedding a number of years ago, I know that some DJs are billed more as entertainers and some more as masters of music...she definitely qualifies for the latter. I have a fair amount of confidence she could get jobs here with the number of folks we know, but I am even more confident she could get a ton of jobs out where her parents and her sister lives. She has a lot of good networks down there, and I know she'd LOVE the excuse to head out that way on a regular basis. (And heck, when I am in school, maybe the student network would be another good source of jobs.)

At $400 per job she could make $1200 a month with only three jobs. Meanwhile, it wouldn't likely interfere with classes or work for me, and would really reduce concerns around the cost of childcare that we have as we look at her returning to a more traditional job. At this point, she can't earn enough to pay for both kids in care, let alone extra on top of that. Which means we wouldn't put the kids in care and instead both of us will end up with twice the work (I with school and she with a new job). And as a DJ, she could even keep doing childcare in our home if she wanted. The business side of being a DJ, as it was described to me, sounds easy enough, and I could take care of a lot of the business stuff.

So why doesn't G want to be a DJ? Right now she is out on a job for her sister. She worked a 15 hour day priming an apartment that she is going to paint tomorrow in another 15 hour day. She is making $500. Not bad for a weekend of work, but two 15 hour days like that is really hard on all of us. I spent all day today working (including attending a church function) with two kids under foot. She is going to get home late Saturday night, which means she is working right through my normal crunch time as I get the church set for Sunday morning. How are we going to manage when I have the stress of homework for school on top of it all? Knowing how sore she was tonight from painting, I am surprised she didn't feel the least bit tempted by my idea. Instead she balked at the idea of being responsible for people having a good time.

I wish I had half G's knowledge about music. If I did, I would jump at my own idea in a heartbeat ;-P.

Great Visit

2010-03-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

This won't be long. I just arrived home from work a little while ago, and I am exhausted. Totally exhausted. Today I spent most of the day over at one of the schools. It was a great visit. (And by the way, G. came with the kids and joined me for part of the afternoon, and she loved the school.)

The Pendulum

2010-03-20T23:15:00.000-07:00

My poor wife! Every day I go to her and say, "You know, I think I've figured out where I should go [for school]," and I name a school and give her 100 reasons it is the best fit for me, and then all day I'll be researching and figuring stuff out about the school. And she'll try to be supportive and research and figure it out with me, and we'll start to form some kind of idea of how it might turn out. We'll talk it over, and I'll feel a little more at peace, and...

...then the next day I start all over, but it won't be the same school. And round and round I go.

It's becoming predictable, and my darling wife is clearly growing weary. She's at the point now where I will say something to her in the middle of the day such as, "This is what I think we'll do about [our family's schedule, etc.] for this school," and she will just nod and smile so as not to engage me too much. I think she's hoping the school visits will be the end of it. The last visit is just before the first decision is due. Eeeks!

Honey, I know you occassionally read my blog, so let me just tell you how much I love you, and how dear I think you are to be so patient, supportuve, and engaged. I am so lucky!

(P.S. to everyone else, can I just say how awesome "G" is?! You know how I know that she reads my blog? Because the day after I posted that I wanted to go to sleep for a month, she let me sleep in and gently told me I had been heard and that she knew how overwhelmed I was.)

An Explanation of Blog Changes

2010-03-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

I added some pay-for-clicks ads to my blog because, well, I am going to need money anywhere I can get it now that it looks like I am going to pay books and fees a couple times next year (aside from the bigger stuff). The plus side is that I get to share some book recommendations with you through an Amazon widget! But I still half-feel that I need to apologize for the extraneous content. So take this as my apology.

Advisement Conference Call

2010-03-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

Since I began receiving school acceptances, a sense of dread has accompanied all celebrations. Saying yes to one offer means saying no to the others when there are so many reasons to say yes to each. I am, in a word, overwhelmed.

After considering hiring out my life decisions for a while ;-), I finally realized that I could take advantage of the fact that I am surrounded by a network of really smart people who have my best interests in mind. While I ultimately have to make this decision on my own, from my own gut, I can first seek guidance and wisdom from these people I trust.

For this reason, I am planning a conference call of advisement! I am very excited, and if you are in my circle of "in-real-life peeps," I hope you will plan to join me. I so very much appreciate collective wisdom of family and friends. I am taking votes for dates and times (perhaps a Saturday, evening EST), and I'll be sending out an evite soon.

Presidential Scholarship!

2010-03-13T06:07:00.001-08:00

Forgot to mention that one of my acceptances included a Presidential Scholarship!

Funny Pyschology

2010-03-13T05:28:00.000-08:00

Since last night's notices, I have been compulsively re-writing my essays in my head...from a school to which I was admitted. The essays were good enough, but they could have been great if I only had written them now and not then LOL.

More News

2010-03-12T15:25:00.000-08:00

Came home tonight to more news. One acceptance (waahhhooooo!) and one rejection (the rejection didn't feel surprising...this was the school with which I had difficulty in the application process, and they hadn't been sympathetic). I feel very happy about my acceptances, and completely 100% overwhelmed by the decision ahead. I have no idea how to make this decision. It feels impossibly difficult. I want to go to sleep for a month.

Wow

2010-03-11T21:43:00.000-08:00

I got my fist acceptance letter today. Wow! Just wow.

The grad school applicant's secret fear: If I get accepted to multiple schools, how will I make a decision? I chose each of these schools because I wanted to go. It's a secret fear because it feels like saying it outloud would ginx any possible acceptances LOL, and it also sounds like an outrageous hope. Still...

Weird

2010-03-11T21:33:00.000-08:00

I received an email regarding my FASFA tonight. It said my corrected FASFA was available online and to my schools. I haven't yet finished my taxes, and thus haven't yet sent in a corrected FASFA. Huh?

Pondering Motherhood and Grad School

2010-03-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

Here is a post I started yesterday but finished tonight...

I am sitting on the deck at the home of my mother and father "in law." My kids are playing in the sun, and we are all soaking up some much-needed vitamin D. Even as I write this, my daughter has climbed on my lap and is taking in the moment with me. It's a beautiful day!

My daughter K's birthday was on Thursday, and now I have two four-year-olds in the house. I think back to last February, and remember that we had just found out for certain that she would be with us forever. When K's birthday arrived, we were still insecure in our reality, emerging from nearly three years of regularly having our life turned on its head while we road the roller coaster of K's case. And yet here we are, a year later, with a solid place to stand. K is here for good, and is now a happy, healthy, active, bright, and precocious little girl. She makes up complex imaginary games. She reads at a young first grade level...heck, she read her own birthday cards this year. She says things like, "that is not an option" and "I think that would be appropriate." She ice skates, and I am pretty sure she is about an inch away from learning to swim.

As M and K approach kindergarten, and I work on these grad school applications, school is a big topic around our house. Today we were taking a walk, and as we went by the school where M used to attend his therapies (he now attends elsewhere due to problems there with the school therapists), he said "Mama, that's my old school! I am going to go kiss it," and he ran up to the building and kissed the front doors. The kids still love school, and M is proud to attend several (church school, Montessori school, and his therapy schools). K calls the ice skating rink her "skating school." But it goes beyond an enthusiasm for school, as those positive associations with school are in fact positive associations with learning. They have a voracious appetite for information and for skills. I hope they never lose it.

I remember my father going to school when I was a kid. I have a vague memory of going to a class (?) with him when I was about K's age. I remember the look of the lecture hall, though I don't remember going in. I remember sitting outside the room with at least one of my siblings. I don't have a context for the memory, so it is probably inaccurate in numerous ways, but accurate or inaccurate, it is nonetheless something I have carried with me now for many years. It has undoubtedly become a part of the stories that shape me.

I have been thinking about this lately, about how formative it was that my father went to school during my early childhood. I don't know the details, nor how he did it with a family: four kids, a wife, a dog (at least at one point), and a job. Maybe because he finished school while I was still quite young, I remember him as having been fully present in my childhood. I remember a lot of family time with both my parents around...probably even more than my own kids get now. So my memories of my dad going to school are very positive, and I have no doubt that these memories have influenced my drive.

I also have memories of my mom returning to school for a period of time.  When I saw my mom do it, the work looked fun. She was motivated. I remember in particular a class she took, and a study-buddy friend she made in the class who she would invite over to the house. I think I might actually have my mom's textbook from that class.

When I start to worry about how I will juggle it all, I think of my parents and the gift that I can give my own children just as they gave me.  By watching my dad complete his schooling, I saw that possibility in myself, and I saw a reason to do so. By attending school now, I have the potential to do the same for my kids. I have thus involved my children in my decision to go back to school from the very start. They were involved in the conversations between me and my wife about which schools were a "good fit." They have celebrated each of my visits to schools and looked at the schools online with me. They have been there through readings of my application essays, as I tried to help myself edit by reading outloud.   They quizzed me with my flashcards when I was studying for the GRE, and they cheered me on through testing. They have been forbidden from entering my bedroom for a couple hours at a time while I have sequestered myself for "application duty."

I know this is going to be a busy few years to come. It is going to involve a lot of work and surely some heartache. I also know that as I do this, my children are watching. They are discerning in their own minds what work is worthy, and how much effort it deserves. They are gathering information about our family's values, our approach to life, our optimism. They are gathering information about differences between my wife and myself, and how we support and question one another in pursuing wildly different paths in life. My children each have unique, individual challenges, but I can control the example I set. It is a privilege and a potent power I have to be able to influence my children through my own action as they grow. May I be worthy.

Andover Newton Update

2010-03-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

I received a personal phone call from ANTS yesterday. Bless them! They wanted to let me know not only that my application packet had been sent to the admissions committee but that they were going to try to rush things so that I get my answer by March 15th when I hear back from the other schools. This is another school for which the admissions process has been a pleasure, and it reminds me of one of the reasons I chose the school. That is, this is a school in which ministry is embodied throughout. I remember calling my father, very excited, after attending the school's open house late last winter/early last spring. What had impressed me was the level of genuine hospitality exhibited throughout the day. I thrive and learn best in an environment in which study and practice are well integrated. As "radical religious hospitality" is a special interest of mine, the hospitality exhibited at the open house -- if it reflects the school as a whole -- is a particularly exciting thing to have observed (even if my father had a more moderate assessment: "it sounds like they ran a really effective open house").

I did re-read my application essays yesterday, having had the perspective provided by relief from the pressure to work on them. I worry about those essays because they are the least cohesive of all my essays, partially because one of the elements I used to tie together my other statements I left out of this essay. I also see other ways I could have/should have explained why I chose the school. On the other hand, I really like some aspects of the essays that were unique to this school, and I was glad for the opportunity to write about those things.

Overall, I am feeling good, even if a bit worried about my delay on my last school application (MLTS).

"Real Life" Education

2010-03-02T23:17:00.000-08:00

So I am having one of those moments when I feel slightly out of step with my congregation. I've noticed that as I walk in service together with them, that there is a rhythm to our shared work. Even when we come across a landscape through which we have to muddle our way, there is a rhythm to the negotiation of unchartered waters.

But somehow recently I got just a half-beat off from the rhythm. I think it started a couple of weeks ago at a board meeting, and its just flowed right into everything else. Time to focus on my own spiritual practices so I can come into rhythm at least with myself. If I am not in a rhythm with myself, there is no way I can be with my congregation.

This is life. It is messy.

Puff Puff Choo Choo...the Little Engine Chugs Along

2010-03-02T23:09:00.000-08:00

I am pleased to say that I completed my ANTS application tonight. I do have to email them my essays tomorrow. Hard to let go because I know the writing isn't 100% yet, but I've gotten to the point where I need to finish something. I could spend a lifetime on these essays, really. I think I've also decided against submitting supplementary material to the school, which was not the decision I expected to make. I feel that by submitting only what I have already submitted (along with the essays in the morning), I will have a "tighter" application packet overall. I don't want to dilute what I have submitted.

My YDS financial aid applicaton is also complete and submitted, but I have to submit a copy of my taxes and W-2s via fax ASAP (note to self: tomorrow I also need to submit M's birth certificate to the charter school for which we entered him in the lottery).

Financial Aid

2010-02-23T23:04:00.001-08:00

I was reminded today that deadlines are fast approaching for many financial aid applications! Yikes. I haven't been doing anything about that. In the next couple of days I will get my taxes done so that I can update my FASFA application, which I've fortunately already completed using last year's taxes as estimates, and complete a YDS internal financial aid application. If I work fast enough, I may be able to get some other applications done for scholarships. Unfortunately, however, because I have been so behind on my final two school applications, I have forced myself to juggle a lot of other balls now as I silmultaneously apply for schools and aid.

Yale's February Update

2010-02-18T20:14:00.000-08:00

I just love that YDS does stuff like sending out regular email updates on where they are in the admissions process. Even though I know when the decisions will be sent out, and thus approximately where they should be in the process, it is simply a small comfort to periodically hear from them. Whatever their decision about my enrollment, I am glad to have had such a pleasant application experience with them.

Here is some of what was in the February update, which came from their Associate Director of Admissions and Recruiting:

"Winter in the admissions office typically passes in a flurry of applications and this year is no different. Reading applications and processing decisions has kept me, and my colleagues on the admissions committee, very busy. We have about two more weeks of committee work and then I finish up processing all the decisions (that means checking and double checking, editing letters, etc) and then we start printing decision letters."

So there you have it.

I still don't have my other two applications complete and submitted! Ack!

And For More Obsessing Over What I've Done Right and Wrong So Far

2010-02-13T18:44:00.001-08:00

What to put in a statement of purpose.

2 Down, 2 To Go

2010-02-12T08:20:00.000-08:00

My updated report:

First the completed applications...

Harvard application packet has been sent to the admissions committee and is currently under review. I should hear around March 15th. It has three letters of recommendation now (using my alternative letter writer)...none of them academic. Things don't look particularly hopeful, and they are offering no encouragement, though I am hoping, wishing, and keeping my fingers crossed anyway, as silly as it may be.
Yale application packet is being processed and may or may not yet be with the admissions committee. My letter writer who was ill very kindly contacted them and asked that her letter be included in my packet after she returned from her most recent medical procedures. I am very thankful, and they let her letter in yesterday. I otherwise had the same three letters of recommendation at this school as I did at Harvard. I hope the professor's letter is not too late to make a difference.

As for my incomplete applications...

All items except for my personal statement have been sent to Meadville-Lombard. By all items, I mean everything including my application fee. My personal statement is coming along painfully slowly. I hope to get it done this weekend and unburden myself of this application. As for letters, I have no idea if the professor will still be sending her letter. However, I did get three extra letters for them (on top of the two I had), as they except four letters as their minimum. I am just waiting on one of those letters to be mailed.
My Andover Newton application is the least complete. I am stuck on the personal statement and essay. The questions this school uses as prompters for the writing are *so* different from the other schools that I basically have to start from scratch, and I admit I am overwhelmed. Still, I plan to get this done within one week. I have three letters at this school, plus the professor's letter if she sends it. They take supplemental materials so would consider the fourth letter.

That's it. That's where I am.

Sad Day

2010-02-01T17:18:00.000-08:00

Today was the final deadline for Harvard. It also was the day I heard from my professor who hadn't sent the letter. Turns out she has become quite ill and can't write the letter for me. She apologized profusely, and I accept that, but I am so disappointed.

I have someone else who is happily jumping in, but I won't have any academic references at all. Harvard has been pretty clear my shot is now dismal. I am sure it is not much better at Yale, especially since the number of weeks that have passed since their deadline, but I have an email out to them just to check in about my next best step.

What a sad, sad day.

Thanks to Someone at Grad Cafe for Posting This

2010-01-30T07:36:00.000-08:00

What do deadlines mean to students and professors? A cartoon.

Half Done

2010-01-28T07:32:00.000-08:00

Harvard application submitted this morning!!

That leaves me just about half done, though I still need to figure out that third letter of reference thing and also get my financial aid application into Yale.

Other than that, just two more applications to go. Wow! I've come a looooong way!

And updated mid-day to say YIPEE! My transcripts are finally showing as a "complete" at Yale. Looks like my old name has successfully been attached to my new name. One last thing for me to worry about.

Progress!

2010-01-27T21:20:00.001-08:00

Ah, progress. Feels good. I think my Harvard application is as good as it is going to get. I was hoping to submit today but am a little delayed. However, I am confident I can submit before business hours tomorrow.
I just looked over my next couple of applications, and the one I have to do by hand looks simple enough that I can complete and mail in everything tomorrow except the personal statement portion. This will be the longest statement (MINIMUM 6 pages, double-spaced!!), and I never thought I'd say it, but I have no idea what I am going to do with all that space. Still, I think I can use my Harvard and Yale essays as a starting point, so that is good news.

The hardest application to finish (ANTS) is not at all the one I expected to be difficult. What makes it difficult is that I have to write a totally separate couple of papers because they ask very different questions for the statement of purpose and essay. I took my Yale statement of purpose and alter a portion of it to use as part of my essay, but I realized after doing that I had misunderstood the original question and will need to completely re-do it. Still, this school claims to process most applications in 3-4 weeks, so if I get it in by mid-February, I am actually going to be okay. My goal is to have it done by Monday or Tuesday (early Feb), as I want to be top of their list for financial aid, which is also on a rolling basis. But I am not going to beat myself up over it.
All this being said, however, I am really freaked out about this recommender who is MIA. I sent her an email a day or two ago that clearly but politely expressed that I was anxious and wanted to make sure she will be able to make the Harvard deadline. I haven't heard a thing, and I am starting to really, really, really panic. The good news is that my fourth letter writer for the school that required four letters I am sure would be willing to send it also to the other schools as a third letter. The other good news is that I know exactly what she wrote (she's the only one who shared her letter with me) and feel it is a good and very positive letter. The bad news is that it is not an academic reference, and the whole point is that I needed at least one academic reference. I was already short the requirement of two. The other bad news is that I will need a new fourth letter for the other school, which will have only three unless the prof pulls through...but the good news about that is that I have someone in mind. Please join me in praying for a strong, positive letter still to come through from the prof.

Letter of Reference: Still Missing

2010-01-26T17:07:00.000-08:00

I am back in the saddle, preparing to submit my HDS application as early as tomorrow. At this time I think I can say that the most painful part of the application experience, no matter how bad the GRE was, is waiting on the letter of reference that I fear may not be submitted.

This is the sole professor I could locate. I was a good student, and I feel I had a good relationship with her. She seemed very positive about my application and said she could write me a strong letter. I was appreciative, and let her know that.

But the YDS deadline has come and gone and I am still waiting on the submission of her letter. And the HDS extended deadline is Monday. I've contacted the prof a number of times by email before and after the deadline. The most recent time she wrote to say she thought she submitted her letter to YDS. I followed up to tell her they didn't have it, and I haven't heard from her since.

I have a backup, but it wouldn't be an academic reference...which I badly need.

I am feeling so sad.

The "Incompletes"

2010-01-21T08:44:00.000-08:00

I am really slacking on the rest of my applications now that one is done. But rest assurred I am not slacking in life. I've been slammed at work with a bazillion things. Still, I've got to get serious, especially since I am afraid everyday that ticks by I am losing more and more of a chance at HDS.

Anyway, checking on my YDS application, it looks like none of my transcripts have been "received." My best guess is that my old name just hasn't been matched to my new name. And I know it takes a while for the online system to get updated, but grrr, it freaks me out that it shows up as incomplete.

And then there is still that third letter of reference. I emailed my recommender to check on the situation. I told her to please let me know if she couldn't do the letters for me. She emailed me back Tuesday and said she thought she had done it/them(?). I responded soon after to explain that the school(s) definitely didn't have it because that part of the electronic system is updated automatically. I still haven't heard back. How long should I wait before pestering her with another email? I feel like I am being a 100% nuisance, but then I am really depending on her and the deadlines have started to come and go.

Regrets

2010-01-16T10:35:00.000-08:00

It's worse than "buyer's regret."

I have this anxious, sinking feeling I can't shake.

1. Late last night I got an email from a YDS student my cousin knows, saying he would be happy to read my essay and make suggestions. Unfortunately, I'd already hit "submit."

2. I woke up in the middle of the night because I remembered something I was supposed to edit on my YDS essay that I forgot to edit. It's pretty glaring. Eeeks!

3. I also had all kinds of regrets about my approach. "Should I have ______ instead?" Etc. etc.

4. I've been worrying about not having spent more time at the school, visiting classes and meeting professors.

5. Worst of all, my recommender who promised to get my letter in yesterday never did. I really need her recommendation, as the only professor on my list. It looks like YDS can still take her letter, but I am very nervous she won't pull through or that she won't pull through in time for her letter to be considered in my application evaluation.

I need to say the serenity prayer and try to just trust that I will end up where I need to be. As I finished up the YDS application, I felt myself fall more and more "in love" with the school, and now I am a little overly attached to the idea of going there.

I have to accept that I don't get to control where I end up.

Cute Kid Moments

2010-01-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

1.. A few days ago when I escaped the house to work in peace on my HDS application and then came home, my son came running to me and said, "Does Harvard like you?!"
2. At one point tonight when I doubted my ability to get my application in on time to YDS, my daughter said with some hope in her voice, "So you won't go to Yale?" "I definitely won't if I don't get this in," I said. "Then we won't have to move, right?" she asked, brimming. "K, even if I get in we might not have to move," I reassured her. "Good," she said, "Then we can get a dog!"

YDS Application Submitted

2010-01-15T17:53:00.000-08:00

With some hemming and hawing over whether everything was really, truly ready for submission...and a big dose of last minute lack of confidence in my decision not to talk specifically about my (same-sex) marriage in my personal statement but instead hint about it and hope that they'll know to count me among those who would contribute to the school's diversity, I finally just hit "submit."

Yikes!

One down. Three to go.

Trouble With Comments?

2010-01-15T17:12:00.001-08:00

I am turning off moderation temporarily to see if that helps. It seems people's comments are not showing up. Hmph!

It's Really Been a Pleasure to Apply to Yale

2010-01-14T22:06:00.000-08:00

I am afraid to say it, scared that I'll ginx myself and realize later I've messed up some big component, but truly, it has been a pleasure to apply to Yale.

Though my essay may not be perfect, my reviewers have said it is good, and I got to have some fun with the topic. Part of the reason for that is that I was working with a page limit rather than a word count, and believe it or not, even though the actual amount of writing is about the same, the latter is very liberating.

I didn't question as much with Yale every word I wrote about my calling, either. Yale's language around calling is more like the language through which I tend to understand my calling. And since I already had a heavily edited statement of purpose, I used that as my launch pad and mostly inserted more "me" back into it.
Other nice things:

Yale didn't have a place on their application forms for volunteer work to be listed in chronological order, but only to a maximum of three, which allowed me to leave that on my CV and not worry about which of many I would post in just three lines without it looking like there were big time gaps when there weren't.
The YDS application website did not cut off words in every text box requiring some information to be entered. With HDS you have to answer everything in 20 keystrokes or less it seemed.
YDS admissions didn't give me a hard time about the schools I attended in the past when I met with them a while back (they in fact told me that schools are mostly "well known" or "not well known" regionally and not to worry about how "well known" my schools were), so I relaxed about it.
YDS specifically recommended at their open house that prospective students don't submit their GRE scores.
The YDS application website was easy to get to online and didn't have a random "user name." The HDS user name is a random series of numbers that I have to copy and paste in every time I go to log in, and to get to the HDS application I also had to click a link in the email in which the user name was assigned.
The YDS deadline is the "priority deadline," so while I want to submit everything tomorrow in order to pay less and also to be make sure I am in line for early consideration (they do say chances of getting in are higher for applicants who meet the priority deadline), I don't feel quite as freaked out about the "what if" question in case my recommender doesn't get my letter in on time.
Speaking of recommenders, YDS does not require two academic references and instead specifies "academic or professional." What a relief!
YDS is seeking diversity and explicitly asks for folks to highlight their diversity through their personal statements (I didn't in an explicit way, but it is implied I hope).

Updates

2010-01-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

A couple updates:

First, the recommender who didn't get the recommendation done by the first HDS deadline has emailed me (in response to an email from me) and said she found out about the extension and was relieved for a little extra time. She says she'll be able to make this Friday's YDS deadline. I appreciate her keeping in touch about it all.

Second, I emailed HDS to ask some clarifying questions about the deadline extension. My first and most important question was whether it makes a difference if I submit now or wait. Their answer, true to the HDS way, was ambiguous. It said, "The admissions committee begins the review process from the time we verify that all of your application materials have been received in our office. You will receive e-mail notifications from us when you application goes through our various processes. You will also be able to track the progress of your application via the online tool after you submit it. We will send out admissions decisions in Mid-March."

So I wrote back and said, "Just to be clear, does it make a difference in actual admissions decisions if I send in my application materials now, or if I wait until February 1st?" And they didn't even bother to reply.

So my plan is now to focus on my YDS application through Friday and then on Saturday pick my HDS application back up to further refine my essays, with the goal of being ready for submission in a week or less.

In the meantime, an HDS M. Div. student visited the church I serve yesterday to enter into a discussion about a possible internship next year. It was great to meet him, and he offerred to be among those who review my HDS writing sample/academic essay. I was thankful for his offer. It always helps to have more eyes, and he will be familiar with HDS specific information.

I Don't Know How to Feel Right Now

2010-01-11T16:22:00.000-08:00

I just got this email from HDS:

Thank you very much for your interest in Harvard Divinity School (HDS). Our records indicate that you have begun an application to HDS this year. I'm writing to inform you that the Admissions Committee has decided to extend our masters programs application deadline to February 1, 2010.

Over the course of the last few weeks the Office of Admissions has received feedback from a number of our prospective applicants. This feedback has focused primarily on this year's new admissions requirement that all masters programs candidates submit GRE scores. While we made the 2010 admissions requirements available on our website in late summer 2009, we understand that some applicants who have been considering HDS masters programs for a few years were surprised to learn of this requirement as they finalized their applications in the last few weeks. The Admissions Committee has reviewed this feedback in the context of the first year of implementing the GRE requirement, and has decided to offer applicants an extension on the deadline.

If you are scheduled to take the GRE by February 1, 2010, and are able to submit your online application and all other supporting documents by February 1, 2010, the admissions committee will review your application for fall 2010. Remember, HDS does not have a minimum GRE score requirement. Your GRE scores will be considered in the context of the entire application.

Please note that, because the financial aid application is intended to be submitted with the admissions application, the financial aid application deadline has also been extended to February 1, 2010. I hope that the admissions and financial aid deadline extensions will be helpful as you consider your options for graduate study. Thank you very much for your interest in HDS. We look forward to reviewing your application!

Best regards,
Director of Admissions

I really don't know how to feel right now. When I received this, I was scrambling to finish my essay in order to have it done by the deadline at midnight tonight, and truly, I could use some more time. From that angle, I am breathing a sigh of relief.

On the other hand:
1. This puts me in a bad position in regard to the GRE. I didn't retake the GRE in part because I didn't feel there was enough time to take it again with any meaningful difference in the scores. Now I feel like it will look very bad for me not to take it again, given my lower than desired scores. On the other hand, I have three other applications that have continued to receive the least of my attention, and I really was counting on being able to turn my attention to them starting this week. I can't really foresee going back and putting a bunch of time into the GRE again so I can retake by February 1st.

2. I am also in a bad position, left wondering if I should take advantage of this time or submit and move on. While I could use the time to finish my essay and further refine my statement of purpose, I don't know whether submitting earlier will put me in a greater position of advantage or whether it is more important to get this writing in better shape. Of course, the decision is mixed in with the need to focus on my application to the other schools.

3. Will they also now be notifying accepted students later than the usual mid-March date? If so, and if I get accepted at YDS, I will be in an unfortunate position in comparing financial aid offers.

4. Finally, while I appreciate that HDS is responsive to feedback, I really wish this had been announced far earlier. As someone who was prepared to have everything in on time, and who has been very conscientous throughout this process, I admit that I feel resentful that others are being given an extension. With all my hand-wringing over my GRE score, I comforted myself in part by saying, "Hey, some people decided not to apply altogether because they were going to have to quickly figure out how to fit the GRE in. At least I took it."

Ugh. I wish I could just feel relief, but the truth is I am irritated.

Recommender Started Letter

2010-01-11T10:37:00.001-08:00

...according to the electronic application system, my recommender has started the HDS letter, so that is good. Of course, I've made little to no progress on this essay, and the whole thing needs to be submitted within hours. Aaaaaaack!

157 Words

2010-01-10T20:08:00.000-08:00

I am over my statement of purpose 1,000-word-limit by 157 words. My second to last cut felt good. It felt like I was trimming excess and my writing was becoming more clear. But the last cut just about killed me. I felt like my voice was being lost. I felt like important things were being left out. I felt like my statement was weakening.

I don't think I can cut anymore, and I don't even know if my statement really addresses what it is supposed to address.

I have lost energy for this, and I have to move on to the edits on my essay anyway so I can get something in tomorrow (the application deadline).

I don't even know where to begin with my essay. Nothing feels right.

I want to puke.

Will She Make It?

2010-01-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

My last recommendation letter has not been submitted to HDS. She definitely said she could do it this weekend, so here's to hoping she gets it done tonight. If she waits until tomorrow I'll be totally freaked. If she doesn't do it tomorrow, I'll be devestated.

Gasp, Gasp...Pant, Pant

2010-01-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

My work is keeping me insanely busy right now, and trying to pull through to the finish line on the school applications, is well, quite the race against the clock.

HDS Statement of Purpose: Am doing another set of edits, thanks to the good editing advice of 3+ reviewers (thanks folks!). I am down to just being ~~378~~ 306 words over the limit instead of 550+ words over the limit, and the writing is much stronger now. Those last ~~378~~ 306 words...it is like pulling teeth, however. I don't feel like I can cut much more. I might just submit it ~~as is~~ over the word limit (yikes!). How bad do you think that would be?

HDS Essay: Written, and reviewed by a few reviewers, but I haven't even begun my edits!

HDS General Application: Most of it is done, but there are some significant pieces on which I need to get to work.

HDS Financial Aid Application: ~~I need to make some tough strategical decision about the FASFA, finish that up, and then locate and plug in a few more numbers on the application~~ (oh no...and also mail a copy of my W-2 I think...eeeks!)

I was hoping to submit the HDS stuff early, but it looks like it will be on time at best. The absolute latest deadline for the HDS application, including the financial aid application is Monday. I should submit it on Sunday in case there are any problems with the website (servers do crash when lots of folks rush to use them at once afterall) or other technical issues.

THEN...

YDS Statement of Purpose: Not even begun! I am hoping some of my HDS statement of purpose will smoothly transfer, and this one won't be nearly as painful and time consuming to write (oh pretty, pretty please!).

YDS Essay: I've begun writing, and as usual have written a lot, but have yet to find a focus or really get anything accomplished.

YDS General Application: It's about half done. Maybe.

YDS Financial Aid Application: ~~The good news is that once the FASFA is done, it is done for all schools. Since the HDS deadline is days away, including for the FASFA, I will have that done very soon~~. (done)

The YDS-specific financial aid application I have not yet started, but the deadline is in late February or early March if memory serves (does it ever?), so I could even wait until after I get the application materials submitted to ANTS and MLTS before coming back to this item.

The YDS deadline is exactly one week away...next Friday the 15th. Which means I should submit at the very, very latest on Thursday. Thank goodness I can put off that financial aid stuff and buckle down on these writing tasks. OMG!

That leaves ANTS and MLTS, of which I have done very little, but I am not even going to think about them until after the 15th. They have rolling admissions, and at this point I will be happy if I get them done by the 25th or 30th.

Hum-De-Dum

2010-01-08T22:43:00.000-08:00

....I've been trying for waaaaay too much time tonight (after arriving back from work at nearly midnight) to fix a computer that is having trouble opening documents. I really need to get my HDS essay edited, so this is quite a frustration. Figured I'd kill some time complaining about it here to you while I wait for my latest attempt at a fix to work its magic. Hum-De-Dum.

Thanks for listening!

Hooray!

2010-01-08T22:38:00.000-08:00

I heard back from my last recommender (the professor...a key person in all this), and she said no problem about getting my letter submitted to HDS this weekend. Of course, I am sure I'll be nervous anyway up until the minute I see it uploaded, but that's inevitable. I am glad to have heard from her.

Never Made a Slower Charge to the Finish Line

2010-01-07T22:44:00.001-08:00

HDS Statement of Purpose: Am doing another set of edits, thanks to the good editing advice of 3+ reviewers (thanks folks!). I am down to just being 378 words over the limit instead of 550+ words over the limit, and the writing is much stronger now. Those last 378 words...it is like pulling teeth, however. I don't feel like I can cut much more. I might just submit it as is (yikes!). How bad do you think that would be?

HDS Essay: Written, and reviewed by a few reviewers, but I haven't even begun my edits!

HDS General Application: Most of it is done, but there are some significant pieces on which I need to get to work.

HDS Financial Aid Application: I need to make some tough strategical decision about the FASFA, finish that up, and then locate and plug in a few more numbers on the application (oh no...and also mail a copy of my W-2 I think...eeeks!)

I was hoping to submit the HDS stuff early, but it looks like it will be on time at best. The absolute latest deadline for the HDS application, including the financial aid application is Monday. I should submit it on Sunday in case there are any problems with the website (servers do crash when lots of folks rush to use them at once afterall) or other technical issues.

THEN...

YDS Statement of Purpose: Not even begun! I am hoping some of my HDS statement of purpose will smoothly transfer, and this one won't be nearly as painful and time consuming to write (oh pretty, pretty please!).

YDS Essay: I've begun writing, and as usual have written a lot, but have yet to find a focus or really get anything accomplished.

YDS General Application: It's about half done. Maybe.

YDS Financial Aid Application: The good news is that once the FASFA is done, it is done for all schools. Since the HDS deadline is days away, including for the FASFA, I will have that done very soon. The YDS specific application I have not yet started, but the deadline is in late February or early March if memory serves (does it ever?), so I could even wait until after I get the application materials submitted to ANTS and MLTS before coming back to this item.

The YDS deadline is exactly one week away...next Friday the 15th. Which means I should submit at the very, very latest on Thursday. Thank goodness I can put off that financial aid stuff and buckle down on these writing tasks. OMG!

That leaves ANTS and MLTS, of which I have done very little, but I am not even going to think about them until after the 15th. They have rolling admissions, and at this point I will be happy if I get them done by the 25th or 30th.

Relief on Letter of Recommendation Front

2010-01-05T20:46:00.001-08:00

Alright, breathing just a bit easier right now. One of my recommenders submitted his letter to Harvard. He still has to do the other schools, but yeah!

Another recommender from whom I asked for only one letter to go to the school that required an extra letter (since I needed two academic references for most schools and didn't have them, I chose to focus on folks who have worked with me day-to-day because I thought they'd have the most insight into my academic potential...this recommendor knows me well but not day-t0-day, and she has never supervised me) has mailed it off, and she also sent me a copy and OMG am I honored by the things she said.

I only have one recommender (my academic reference...ack!) currently missing in action. Hopefully I'll hear from her soon that she's got the letter done.

muhney, muhney, muhnay, MUH-NAY!

2010-01-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

Because one of the schools to which I am applying requires all financial aid application materials (including the FASFA, using 2008 numbers for 2009 estimates) to be submitted at the same time as the application by January 11th, I am starting to think about money.

I am looking for private scholarship dollars and grant sources. I'll keep a bit of a running tally here of fund sources that may be applicable to me when I run across them, with any deadline info I can find (surprisingly difficult to come by in many cases). Here's just a start:

http://www.nextstudent.com/directory-of-scholarships/Religion/0034/103548/Religious-Unitarian-John-scholarship.aspx (April)
http://www.uua.org/leaders/leaderslibrary/ministerialcredentialing/16213.shtml (Varying dates. Seems like most are March or April. It's amazing how much there is to keep track of in this process. Apparently I need to act fast after my acceptance at a school in order to gain "aspirant" status with my association of congregations so that I can be eligible for these funds. This will require me to do some writing, complete some interviews, done a financial planning thing, and more! Yipes!)

The Procrastinator's Friends

2010-01-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

Procrastination on my part has 100% of its origin in FEAR. I'm not lazy, but I am still working on my self-esteem. When I am procrastinating, it is a sure sign I am being pushed to grow in a way that is scary to me. It comes out through these vices.

1. Doing research for the necessary papers...beyond the point of it being helpful. Or doing unfocused research while my brain scatters in 101 directions.

2. Worrying and obsessing about things I am not doing for work while I chip away at my applications...or vice versa. (As a working mom I've sometimes said that I feel like I am either failing at my work or failing as a mom and that I can't seem to do both really well. This is one more area in which I feel like I get unbalanced easily.)

3. Watching tv shows online.

4. Gabbing online about areas of life in which I feel more competent.

5. Blogging here (though this also is a helpful way to vent and let off steam in this stressful process).

6. Since my dog died just before Christmas: (A) Feeling a valid and legitimate sadness about my dog and then slipping into a funk or more recently...(B) Taking my sad feelings and giving them a release by going on Petfinder.com or researching dog stuff online so I can dream of a future day with a future dog, or (C) Related to #3 above, watching "The Dog Whisperer" and planning ahead for future dogs. Oh, also (D) trying to find out housing stuff for when I am in school so I can have clues before March whether I can get another dog this year or whether I'll have to wait until I am done with school and then moved/settled somewhere.

7. Combing through the status of my applications to check and double-check and then check again what I still have to do.

8. Taking a break every sentence when I am writing. Eating during every few breaks (not good at all for my weight and health). Refilling drinks. Going out to the car to get stuff I need. Running to work to get materials I could use that are there. Etc.

9. Sleeping.

10. Reading and being critical of things I've written in the past.

11. Reading papers I've finished but am not yet ready to edit, with no intention of actually editing them...more to feel badly about how rough they still sound.

12. Futile efforts to gain control over aspects of the application process that I can't control. Wringing my hands over missed opportunities (interviews that didn't go well, etc.).

Letters of Recommendation Are Distracting Right Now

2010-01-02T19:51:00.000-08:00

I just want to say that letters of recommendation are, as the deadlines grow closer, a terrible distraction.

I have three schools that require three letters and one school that requires four. Two of the schools do everything electronically. Two of the schools are still paper-based systems.

One of my recommenders (is it recommenders or recommendors?) was amazing and got his letters done and in for me at all schools very early on in the process. Two of my recommenders haven't started the letters at all yet, according to one school's electronic system.

Right now I should be 100% focused on my writing, but I am finding my mind repeatedly wondering and worrying about these letters. Will they get in on time? The deadlines are mere days away. I am getting really, really nervous.

Then there is the question of how frequently to pester the recommenders. I've tried to space out my "friendly reminders," to one or more months apart. My last reminder was at least a month and a half ago. I've done a good job at avoiding being an annoyance, but as we get down to the wire here, should I remind them a couple more times? Say, once when I get all my application materials submitted (hopefully several days before the deadline) and once the day before the final deadline? Do I start using the phone now, or stick to email since I am confident they are reading their emails?

I just emailed reminders tonight. Which brought up the usual question of whether just to email the reminders with a personal note, from my own email, or whether to use the reminders of the electronic system. Or both...which is what I have done to date.

What a distraction!

If I ever have the honor of being asked to write a letter of recommendation for a prospective student, I hope I will remember to:

1. Say an enthusiastic yes or say a tactful no based on the strength with which I think I can recommend the prospective student.

2. Once I've agreed to write the letter because I think I can write a strong one, reassure the candidate who is surely nervous and uncertain, that it will be strong.

3. Talk with the candidate a bit. Research the school or program a little and reflect on indicators of the candidate's match with the particular program and school to which s/he is applying. Ask for more information to write the strongest possible letter.

4. Communicate with the candidate when I expect to be able to get the letter done. Let the candidate know if this date changes.

5. Have someone proof the letter for me just to be sure that I don't reflect poorly on the candidate through typos and other unintentional errors. Representing someone else is something of an honor, and should be done well.

6. Follow-up once the letters have been sent so the candidate can breathe a sigh of relief and focus on the aspects of the application s/he can control.

7. Probably share the letter with the candidate. If it wasn't going to be a strong one, I wouldn't have written it...so it will have to be something I am willing to share. Since most candidates will check off that they waive the right at the school level to see the letter, it is a nice gesture for them to get a chance to see it.

Slow Progress

2009-12-31T19:11:00.000-08:00

Okay. Slow progress. I'll get there. I am freaked out. But I am on my way.

I have draft papers for Harvard done. They are very rough around the edges, but I have some folks reviewing them so I can go back to it soon with fresh eyes. I am still hoping to push through to a final draft for application submission by January 5th. Lofty, but there is a chance I'll make it. That will give me a few days to pull together my FASFA and financial aid application so everything arrives on time on January 10th.

Within days of that, my Yale application will be due. After a lot of internal debate, I may have finally settled on a writing sample topic. I am thinking I will write on Maria Montessori as theologian, philosopher, and writer. I am not sure this fits exactly what they are looking for, but truly in those three capacities her work has influenced me deeply. I doubt I could write as well on anyone else. So I just need to whip out rough drafts of the Yale papers within a few days.

Since the other two schools are a rolling admission, even though I need to get those applications done quickly after the first two (in order to get acceptance notices and financial aid offers around the same time for comparison purposes), I can breathe something of a sigh of relief once Harvard and Yale apps are in.

GRE Scores Back...Good News, Bad News, Good News, Bad News

2009-12-26T20:31:00.000-08:00

The bad far outweighs the good, as far as Harvard is going to be concerned, but here it is.

Good News
I thought I hadn't yet gotten my scores back yet, which was making me worried I would have to spend a bunch of time tracking them down. Tonight I found out my kids got the scores a while back, and opened them, which is why my wife thought I had already seen them. They've been in a stack of papers to be filed, so the good news is I have my scores now.

Bad News
I was highly disappointed with my writing score, which was 4.5 (63rd percentile) on the 0-6 scale with 0.5 incrimental grading. I needed a minimum of 5, so on all counts I've fallen short of the minimum I would need for fair consideration by Harvard.

Good News
I did not imagine my 690 verbal score. I did indeed receive a 690, which is indeed 96th percentile. Not bad.

Bad News
I also didn't imagine my quantitative score, a 430, and to top it all off, according to this year's grades, my percentile is waaaaay worse than I thought (17th!!). Lord have mercy.

The clock is also ticking, and I am starting to panic because *none* of my writing is done. None!! I have just a few more days to pull a lot of crap together, and my writing really needs to be fantastic due to my lower-than-necessary writing score on the GRE. I am so near pulling the plug, but after all my work, all my investment, there is no way I can just give up and go home now.

It just sucks.

Updated To-Do List

2009-12-17T17:24:00.001-08:00

Updated Application Process To Do List

Notice I've dropped the arrangement by week for now, since I am basically just scrambling to fit everything in when I can, and hoping to God that it all gets done somehow. I did however, break things down in terms of what I need to do for Yale and Harvard and what I need to do for the other two schools.

Here is my earlier post on the writing required for each application.

YDS and HDS:
∆ Write thank you note to YDS staff for interview/informational session
∆ Call school that hadn't received my faxed transcript request; resend request if necessary
∆ Write HDS statement of purpose; have folks review; edit; have folks review; upload
∆ Write YDS personal statement; have folks review; edit; have folks review; upload
∆ Write HDS essay; have folks review; edit; have folks review; upload
∆ Write YDS academic writing sample; have folks review; edit; have folks review; upload
∆ Finish and upoad CV (have someone review first?)
∆ Order and read some books by faculty at both schools, if can find some money to do so
∆ Send reminders to recommenders
∆ Are transcripts in?
∆ Double check on GRE scores, if not yet received, and get GRE reference number
∆ Complete the application form sets
∆ Make any additional school contacts needed
∆ Submit applications by January 5th at the latest
∆ Complete and submit FASFA and school-specific financial aid applications for both schools by January 11th using the previous year's taxes (find tax forms?!)

ANTS and MLTS
∆ Send in transcripts that I had sent directly to me
∆ Write ANTS personal reflection; have folks review; edit; have folks review; upload
∆ Write MLTS personal essay; have folks review; edit; have folks review; upload
∆ Write ANTS competancy paper; have folks review; edit; have folks review; upload
∆ Edit and send in supplemental writing
∆ Edit and upoad CV (have someone review first?)
∆ Send reminders to recommenders (one more recommender for MLTS?)
∆ Are transcripts in?
∆ Complete the application form sets
∆ Make any additional school contacts needed
∆ Submit applications by January 16th at the latest
∆ Complete and submit FASFA and school-specific financial aid applications for both schools by January 16th using the previous year's taxes (find tax forms?!)

The Scramble

2009-12-17T17:17:00.001-08:00

Sorry to be missing in action. I've been writing.

I have worked a little on the Harvard writing sample essay, a little on my Yale personal statement and a lot on my personal statement for Harvard. I've had fits and starts, and all of the starts have been false starts. It's simply not been going well.

If I wasn't so damn stuburn I'd give up.

Here it is, well past the one month countdown. The clock is ticking. And I really have completed no tangible peice of writing that is worth consideration for submission.

The good news is that this afternoon I hammered out a paragraph of two for Harvard that may not be a false start.

Why on earth did I think it would be possible to muddle through all this in the holiday season?! I am way in over my head.

I have, however, decided that I am going to concentrate on my Yale and Harvard applications until early January. While I need to get my other two applications in as soon as possible after the Yale and Harvard applications, in order to have offers to compare (if I get accepted anywhere at all), the other two schools have rolling admissions so they can wait a little bit. Focusing on just the two schools for a few weeks should help me get this done.

I'll post an updated to-do list momentarily.

Mid-Week Timeline Check-In

2009-12-02T23:11:00.000-08:00

Week of November 30th

∆ Update CV and submit to all websites: This is mostly complete. I am waiting to hear back from a colleague about something that will help me get it done. Of course, it is too long for at least one of the schools, so when I submit I'll need to give myself time to cut it down a bit and reformat (have already begun working on this in my head).

∆ Attend a class or event: I would have liked to attend a class this week in CT (especially as terms are ending and time is running out), but it didn't work out this week, at least not so far. However, I did go to one of the schools today for a workshop with the admissions department on completing the application.

∆ Take care of the last two transcript requests (F/M): Not done yet. The website for transcript requests for these two schools is the same website, and it is giving me a really hard time. Very irritating. But I have to get it done by the end of this week at the latest because I suspect these schools will also have slow processing of the requests.

∆ Write a rough draft of my Statement(s) of Purpose: Hmmm...well, I did work on it a bit at the application workshop I went to today, and I have been working on it in my head non-stop. But that doesn't really count, now, does it? I think part of what is delaying me is that I know I really have to write FOUR statements, though they will contain some of the same core elements, and that seems overwhelming so I am having a hard time figuring out where to start. I think if I got the HD one done, I'd have an easier time with the others, so maybe I should start there. But the others seem so much more surmountable, so maybe I should start there. Ack. Well, clearly I need to devote more time to this over the next few days. I got a good suggestion in the workshop today to start by putting on a timer for myself and writing for 10-30 minute periods without going back to do ANY editing until the first draft is done.

Keeping Track of Writing Needed

2009-12-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

Yikes! I am starting to lose track of the different writing samples and essays needed at the different schools to which I am applying. This very long post (apologies in advance) is my attempt to organize that information for myself. Of course, statements of purpose, personal reflections, personal essays, and personal statements usually mean approximately the same thing, but I've noticed that each school has a very different feel, and each is specifically looking for a match between student and school, so...

School AN

Personal Reflection: The instructions say the personal reflection should "provide a personal statement about your journey of faith." It should be no longer than 1000 words and should "(1) Give a brief sketch of your faith journey describing your experience of church and the ministry to which you feel called. Please include your thoughts on the significance and role of the Church today. (2) Through the lens of your faith journey, please respond to a current, major political, social or religious issue and how it has affected the way that you experience your faith. (3) Given your reflection on the previous two points, how do you envision the program enhancing, participating in and/or informing your continued journey of faith?" This school is the most flexible on the format for the personal reflection, and they emphasize that prospective students should consider it a friendly introduction of themselves to the faculty rather than a huge obstacle to mount. They are more interested in faith than an academic or vocational snapshot of prospective students. They also want to see students indicate their match with a "competancy based program," both in the personal reflection and second piece of required writing.
Competancy Reflection: This is one of the more unique bits of writing I have to do, but it is fortunately more reflective than academic, as described to me by the admissions department. The written instructions say to "Please reflect on our M.Div. curriculum, which focuses on four competency areas that are essential for ministry: interpreting, communicating, leading and embodying (descriptions are provided below). We nurture these competencies within the classroom and throughout our community and hope that our graduates lead from strength as they serve in diverse roles in our ever-changing world. In the form of a 500 word essay, please consider one of these core competency areas. Describe your understanding of it and its significance in either your own community or a community that you have worked, lived or worshiped in that was not your own. For example, your reflection might begin "communicating is important in my church as we explore interfaith dialog with our neighbors...." Master of Divinity Program Core Competencies are: (1) Interpreting-- theological thinking and spiritual formation, both for students and for the communities students will eventually teach and nurture; (2)Communicating-- draws upon the Bible as an early form of Christian communication, and considers the ways in which ministers communicate today through preaching, liturgy, and interfaith dialogue; (3) Leading-- students' abilities to understand religious organizations from historical and theoretical perspectives, helping such organizations to craft theologically-grounded visions and drawing upon a repertoire of skills and practices to encourage others to act; (4) Embodying-- a wide array of behaviors and habits of the heart that represent social justice, intercultural understanding, Christian ethics, and pastoral care." For this essay I am leaning toward writing on topic #4 and reflecting on personal qualities necessary for pastoral care, which I have been intentionally developing throughout my years in professional, non-ordained ministry.

School HD

Statement of Purpose: The instructions say that "The statement of purpose is an integral part of the application and is evaluated with great care by the Admissions Committee. The statement must be no more than 1,000 words in length. It should discuss the applicant's general background (education, work experience, volunteer work, and/or relevant personal experience) and how this background has prepared him or her for graduate theological study. Applicants should outline vocational or career objectives in the context of theological study. Applicants should provide specific reasons why they believe there is a good fit between their objectives and the academic program to which they are applying. The following program-specific information must also be incorporated into the statement of purpose: Master of divinity applicants must include a description of the type of ministry they intend to pursue as they address their objectives for graduate study. Candidates who propose nontraditional forms of ministry must discuss their understanding of ministry in the context of their professional aspirations." Overwhelming love of God is not enough. This school is heavily, heavily academic and interfaith focused. I am competing with some of the top students in the nation, and I will definitely need to address my lack of a language and humanities background while keeping the focus on my assets. A faculty member at this school told me the students who get in right away are the ones with whom the school is a very obvious, clear match.
Essay: "MDiv applicants are required to answer one of the two essay questions listed below. This essay should be approximately 500 words (approximately 2 pages, double-spaced). Please answer either: (1) What are the imperatives and potential pitfalls of graduate study in a multifaith environment? or (2) What do you see as the challenges of ministry, religious studies, or theological scholarship, and what do you see as the rewards?" Although not indicated in the instructions, this essay is in place of an academic writing sample required in previous years, so I will need to use the opportunity to demonstrate my academic writing capacity. I am heavily leaning toward the first of the two questions. The biggest challenge for me in writing this piece is going to be the word limit. It is much more difficult for me to write something short than something long.

School YD

Personal Statement: The written instructions say that the "personal statement should address your academic and vocational goals; how a Yale Divinity School education can assist you in meeting those goals; and what gifts and experiences you feel you can contribute to your theological education at Yale." The faculty at the open house suggested focusing on the school's mission of preparing leaders of the church and world through preparation of both heart and mind. It was also suggested not to focus too much on end-goals, which tend to change during one's theological education. They strongly suggest underscoring aspects of my life that would contribute to the school's diversity. I will also need to address my lack of a language and humanities background. Finally, they are the most so-called "confessional" of all the schools, though they do say that the statement does not need to be confessional.
Academic Writing Sample: The best would be a paper I actually wrote in an academic setting, but since I can't have one I am going with option B, for which the instructions say to "provide the admissions committee with an academic essay (no more than 5 pages) in response to one of the following prompts: (1) Discuss the influence a significant philosopher, theologian, or writer has had on your thinking or vocation; (2) Consider a contemporary issue in church or society (e.g., death penalty, climate change), and how you would address that issue using the resources of your own religious tradition; or (3)Perhaps a major work of art (visual, literary, film, etc.) has had a profound impact on your thinking or vocation. Discuss how and why. I am hoping, for reasons of time, I might be able to adapt the HD essay on interfaith settings to address topic #2 (??).

School ML

Personal Essay: This school requires more references, but requests only one essay. The instructions say to "write a personal essay of no less than six (6) pages or 2000 words in length and no more than eight (8) pages, typed, and double‐spaced that addresses the following: (1) Reflection on various influences that have been important in your religious, personal, and intellectual development. A. What are your deepest religious questions?
B. What is your current sense of strengths and growing edges for ministry? (2) A statement of your academic and professional objectives in applying to the program,
with specific reference to your proposed career objectives. A. Why are you applying to this school? B. What kinds of challenges or gifts are you anticipating in pursuing an MDiv?" This is the school that is furthest from me and with which I have had little to no contact, except by knowing students there. Though needing just one essay is helpful, I may not be as prepared to write about my match with the school, though due to denominational affiliation and my lifelong faith, I think I will be able to demonstrate the match when all is said and done.

Updated Timeline

2009-11-28T05:54:00.000-08:00

Application Process To Do List

Week of November 30th
∆ Update CV and submit to all websites
∆ Attend a class or event
∆ Take care of the last two transcript requests (F/M)
∆ Write a rough draft of my Statement(s) of Purpose

Week of December 7th
∆ Revise Statement(s) of Purpose
∆ Have folks review Statement(s) of Purpose
∆ Work on research papers (required topics are different at each of the schools, so will need to write a few)
∆ Make another 1-2 contacts at schools or attend another class or event

Week of December 14th
∆ Send reminders to recommenders, as needed
∆ Have folks review research papers and revised Statement(s) of Purpose
∆ Continue revisions on research papers and Statement(s) of Purpose
∆ Are transcripts in?
∆ Make another contact or two at schools?

Week of December 21st
∆ Have folks review draft Statement(s) of Purpose and research papers
∆ Keep revising Statement(s) of Purpose and research papers
∆ Complete all four of the applications, aside from the Statements of Purpose and research papers

Week of December 28th
∆ If possible, have folks do a final review of written works/revise
∆ Complete and Submit applications by January 5th at the latest
∆ Complete financial aid applications in first few days after submitting the school applications (also due January 11th)

Just For Fun

2009-11-27T22:04:00.001-08:00

So tomorrow and Sunday will be extremely busy workdays for me, but as of Monday I need to get back to business with my school applications. I'll work on updating my timeline in my next post. In the meantime, I thought I'd take advantage of the excuse of it being a sort-of-holiday to play around a bit.

I saw on one of my parenting discussion boards, in a topic under "frugality," a question about textbooks being available on an ereader. I am not likely to have a lot of textbook reading, as far as I can tell, but I will have a TON of reading. A TON. I wonder how many relevant titles would be available for Kindle reading. Not that I will ever in a million years have money for such a thing (and reviews of the Kindle 2, anyway, seem mixed), but the idea is very dreamy.

I know, so ridiculous. But playing a little make-believe in my head about my very bright and always totally dreamy future in grad school is part of what is helping me keep semi-sane through this application process LOL.

P.S.

2009-11-24T17:02:00.000-08:00

P.S. I keep having this paranoid fear that I misread my score...what if I didn't actually get a 690 verbal afterall?

Sigh.

Wish they'd print the scores on test day so everyone gets a hardcopy.

I Laughed, I Cried...Now What?

2009-11-24T16:12:00.000-08:00

The news...

Quantitative
430. Yep. Not good. In 2008, that would have been around 39th percentile, I think.

Verbal
690. I *think* that would have been 96th percentile in 2008. Pretty good. I would be happy and satisfied with this score, even though it was 10 points short of my goal, if my quantitative was higher.

So the total is 1120. 80 points less than my minimum goal.

The wild card of course are the essays. Those are scored on a scale of 0-6 in 0.5 increments. My feeling is that I did okay on them. It certainly wasn't my best writing, but it wasn't my worst. I may have had some word useage problems because I couldn't get new vocab words out of my head (nor did I want to, since I had yet to take the verbal test), and they kept ending up on paper...not sure how well I used them.

The whole hour-and-a-half drive home I debated with myself whether to retake the test, and I think I am leaning toward letting it be. It would be easier to decide if I knew my writing score, but that won't be in for a couple weeks, and by then it will be too late to retake. I have to decide now without that information.

The big risk is that it will look like I was too lazy to study, and that if Harvard is comparing me to a student of otherwise equivalent qualifications, they'll bump me out of their "very selective student body" because I don't meet some minimum they have in their heads (if they have one, they are refusing to let on, as I asked outright and they said "just do your best").

But the weight is on the side of "cons" in terms of retaking:

I can't retake just quantitative. I'd have to retake the whole thing. In doing so, my verbal score could get better, but it could also drop. I'd be risking having a lower verbal score sent to my school, and even though they'd get my original scores as well, they'd probably consider both.
The cost is $150. Plus gas money. 'Nuff said.
Though I feel like I've relearned a lot in my math review, apparently it isn't reflecting in the test. My score hasn't changed really through my 6 weeks or so of practice. The chances I'll be able to increase it really significantly in the next week or two aren't all that great. I think I've just been out of school for too long, and that math isn't my strong suit, and that I'd need to retake a math class in order to make enough of a difference to justify the cost and time.
I'd have to retake the test within one week to feel confident the scores would get over to the school in time. Two weeks would be really pushing it and might end up being a waste of money. The chances that there would be a seat open somewhere for me to test next week are slim, and even if there was a seat open, I'm not sure I could pull it off with work. I was already pushing it this week.
This is a very busy time of year at home and at work. It's been difficult enough to fit this in.
Only one out of four schools requires this score. Yale Divinity even discourages prospective students from sending them. I am behind on the whole application process now due to the amount of time I've spent studying, and I really need to focus on the rest of the process or I am going to screw myself over with those other schools.
The school should be most interested in my verbal score.

With my test anxiety, I'm proud I took the test at all. Truly. I almost didn't go to college because I was too anxious to take the SATs. I didn't do so badly considering my anxiety, and also considering that...

This requirement was sprung on everyone last minute when Harvard announced the new requirement in September;
I got a late start studying because I had to save for a while to come up with the money for the study guide;
I could afford only to buy a single study guide;
I have been sick for the last month;
I work full time;
I did my studying with two very young, closely spaced children underfoot (have to say, though, how cute my ds has been...quizzing me with my flashcards and always saying "good job mama!" when I remember stuff);
I have been out of school for almost a decade;
I have a yet undiagnosed neurological issue that I've been working on with a neurologist for well over a year, and this issue impacts memory most severely;
Up until 1am this morning I thought the test was on Wednesday.

All things considered, it doesn't matter to Harvard, but I think I have a lot to be proud of (even if I hang my head in shame as I read Jenn's scores LOL). Also, having among other things attended several classes there and gotten what I believe is a pretty good impression of the school, I think Harvard and I are a really good match for one another, but if they can't see that, I guess that is their loss. I hope I won't sound pompous. But I guess I am just done with this GRE game. Done. Done.

OMG!

2009-11-23T22:03:00.000-08:00

I totally screwed up my test date!!! I thought Wednesday was the 24th!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My test is TOMORROW at 1:30pm (er today...it's 1am)!! Not Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Minimal Improvement...I am Doomed

2009-11-23T21:22:00.000-08:00

Retook the test again tonight. I felt I did very well on my essays, though they are unscored. However...I received 570 verbal, 470 quantitative. I ran out of time and actually just picked random answers for my last five questions on quantitative. Got all of them wrong. Also missed four questions in a row on verbal.

I am not sure what to do from here. On one hand I feel like I should just focus on verbal between now and Wednesday because it seems improbable at this point that I'll be able to top 500 in quantitative. If I could work a miracle and bring my score up to 700 in verbal, I think I could avoid retaking the test even though the scores aren't stellar. The program isn't looking for a math whiz, but they want to know you aren't too lazy to study. And a 1200 was my minimum score goal. That said, I don't know how much I can bring up my score in verbal. I either will know the words or I won't. Right now the questions I am missing are not all one type, but rather random.

I may have to come to peace with the fact that I'll need to retest. Unfortunately, I'm running out of time to get scores to the school, so the retest will have to be in another week or so...not sure how much I could change my score in that time either. Especially with work demands. Ugh.

Help me get this.

2009-11-23T13:21:00.000-08:00

So comparing 3^17 + 3^18 to (4)3^17, apparently an easy way to solve this is as so:

Factor and you get: 3^17(1+3)=3^17(4). So the two items are equal.

???

Calming Down and Factoring

2009-11-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

So I just finished reviewing all the math problems from my last practice test. Most of my issues are fairly correctable: not reading the problem carefully enough, reading carefully but forgetting an element of the question by the time I've completed some calculations, making problems more complicated than they have to be (this is a bit harder to correct as it requires the ability to translate problems into their simplest terms on first take, which is difficult for me as a "non-math" person who has been out of school for years), making simple errors in calculation, and so forth. There are a few concepts, however, that I need to review again. One of those is factoring polynomials. I've just been reviewing how to factor polynomials, and I want to share this great video I found on YouTube:

Know any middle schoolers or high schoolers who are learning to factor polynomials? I highly recommend you show them this video! I'm having so much fun taking polynomials from other YouTube videos on factoring polynomials, using this method, and getting the problems factored correctly before the other videos finish.

Here's another good one for cases in which you have four terms:

Students today are so lucky to have access to internet teachers! What cool stuff.

I'm having so much fun with factoring polynomials that I need to stop myself from doing more. Since factoring is just one of many concepts challenged by the GRE, I can't afford to spend more than a few minutes on it. Bummer. Time for me to go figure out something about factoring exponents in general, which apparently is the easiest way to realize that 3^17+3^18 is equal to (4)3^17. Also, I really need a tutorial in how to recognize problems that are best solved by unfactoring, that is using the FOIL method...and the simplest and fastest way to complete these problems. Any suggestions?

Not. Good.

2009-11-21T19:24:00.000-08:00

I took another practice test today and got an even 460 on verbal and an even 460 on quantitative. I ran out of time on both sections (and barely finished one of my essays, unscored, as well). Not. Good.

I feel screwed regarding my test on Wednesday. How the heck could I bring up each of these scores by 200 points by Wednesday? I thought I was making very slow, but at least steady progress, but it turns out it might all be a fluke.

It makes me feel really, really stupid. Seriously. I know I've never done well on standardized tests, but 460 is an awful score. People who don't study get a score like that.

If that is the score I get on Wednesday I will have wasted $150. This can't happen.

Maybe I need more time to study, but I don't have it. Tomorrow is a church day, so well, I'll be lucky to get in a couple hours. Monday I have to work a bunch but still hope to get another practice test in. Tuesday I have set aside mostly for studying but I found out this last week that my assistant is going to have a weird schedule next week and that we need to get some work done together Tuesday morning. Which leaves me maybe 5 or 6 hours on Tuesday, including a PowerPrep practice test (not my usual practice test, so I get in a little variety). Wednesday morning I hope to cram for a while and then my test is at 1:00pm.

Pray for me. I am just a puddle of tears right now.

While on break between studying and a practice test...

2009-11-20T20:01:00.000-08:00

I have this sneaky suspicion that HDS introduced the GRE into its requirements this year more than anything simply as a tool to induce folks to opt out of applying in a year when applications are expected to come in at a record rate and more folks who are accepted are expected to matriculate. Of course HDS takes great pride in having a "selective student body" so I am sure that the score will hold plenty of weight and will allow screening out of otherwise similar candidates, but I can't help but thinking there was a strategy in the timing...especially since this was announced so late in the game.

Small Interuption

2009-11-20T09:50:00.001-08:00

May I just interupt my regular broadcast for a sec to say URGH! my car has been burglarized AGAIN! Urgh! Urgh! Urgh!

Low Motivation for Studying

2009-11-18T22:18:00.001-08:00

Next week is the big test and I am finding myself in danger of running out of steam. A lot of it is likely test anxiety kicking in, but it doesn't help that I am *still* (!!?) super sick. Tonight I studied my vocab for a while but avoided math. However, I at least still took care of some application issues. I sent out reminders to a couple of the folks who have agreed to write me recommendations, including writing info for one of my recommenders about the specific match between myself and my chosen schools, and I ordered transcripts from two of my former schools (which ended up being a pain for a number of reasons, and took way too long).

I think I really need to take some time off work between now and next Wednesday, both to recover from this sick stuff that I can't seem to kick and to do more test practice. My scores are not at all close enough to my goal for this kind of laziness (lethargy?).

Second GRE Practice Test

2009-11-14T22:11:00.000-08:00

Note: I am not reporting the results of pencil and paper tests, only the computer adaptive tests, as this is most similar to the actual GRE.

I unfortunately was unable to take my second practice test earlier this week due to a combination of being ill and needing more sleep followed by a technical problem at the Princeton Review site. However, I did finally take it late tonight.

Before I tell you the bottom line, let me say a few things:
1. I am relieved my score went up even after a week of variable studying.
2. I am pretty bummed it didn't go up more in quantitative.
3. I am a little bummed it didn't go up more in verbal, especially given the delay in taking the test, but I still surpassed my goal of improvement for the second test.
4. I feel better about the essays I wrote this time, the only ungraded part of the practice test.

But most importantly, what it came down to in my quantitative score was pacing. I had a 570 at one point and a 530 just before time ran out. Having not yet answered seven questions, my scored plummeted to 450! Most of my wrong answers on math I got by rushing those final questions. I missed only two problems through question 12, but it went downhill from there. I actually wasted a lot of time on one question due to not reading it through carefully the first time. Also, it didn't help that my daughter woke up in the middle of the math section and started talking to me.

My score:
Quantitative: 450
Verbal: 630

Total: 1080 (just slightly better than my "realistic goal of improvement")

I did much better on reading comprehension, which boosted my scores, but the questions I missed were due to rushing at the end (my pacing was messed up when my final sets of questions were unexpectedly reading comprehension, which always takes me longer).

Practice is good even though it always terrifies me. I just have to keep plugging away. Only 9 more days! Yikes!

My minimum goal for the next test is a 645 verbal and a 500 quantitative, which puts me just 55 total points away from my absolute minimum target on test day (I'd set my aim higher if I could, but I want to be realistic about my time constraints).

First GRE Practice Test

2009-11-06T19:39:00.000-08:00

I took the first of at least four practice GRE tests I plan to take before the real deal. The result: it is a good thing I am practicing.

Quant: 410
Verbal: 550

Total: 960

I need to increase this score by at least ~150 in quantitative and at least ~100 in qualitative. I need a total score of absolutely no less than 1200, including a verbal score of no less than 650.

Here's how my score breaks down right now. On verbal, I got through all the questions, which was the first big challenge. I had 0 unanswered questions, 21 questions answered correctly, and 9 questions answered "incorrectly." Among the questions I answered incorrectly, 2 were analogy questions, 2 were antonym questions, 1 was a two-blanks sentence completion, 3 were surprisingly reading comprehension specific questions, and 1 was a reading comprehension general question.

Some of the reading comprehension issues come down to rushing. But the global problem through the entire verbal section of the test for me is that it is difficult for me to look for the GRE's "best choice" rather than what I think is the "right answer." I need to do a whole lot of practice sets.

In the quantitative, or math section, I also was able to complete my work before the time ran out (barely...it was 3 or 5 seconds to go!). I had 0 unanswered questions, but a whopping 11 wrong and only 17 right. Eeeks!

Out of my wrong answers:

1 was a problem-solving fundamental error in which I didn't plug in "weird enough" possibilities for the plug-in method of solving with a variable
2 were word problems for which I used too simple a method to solve when I apparently needed a formula
2 involved trying to solve problems when the best answer was actually "a relationship can't be determined from the information given."
2 involved basic level miscalculations (surprising it was just two, since calculators aren't allowed LOL), but in these two cases I think I need to practice *how* to complete certain types of calculations
2 involved misreading graphs (which I knew I had done with one during the test, but I was rushing through)
1 involved not looking closely enough at a geometry figure (again, rushing is definitely an issue)
1 involved a geometery concept I haven't yet reviewed

So basically, my fundamental problem is that I am not yet skilled at looking at a problem and choosing the best method to solve it.

My goal for my second practice test, which I'll take the middle of next week at the latest:

Quantitative of 480, verbal of 580, total of 1060.

Quick Update

2009-11-03T07:22:00.000-08:00

Between being sick, and trying to make up time at work from when I was sick, and having two open houses this week at two of the universities, plus being in the real "cram time" for the GRE, I haven't had much time to post. But I do want to report back on yesterday's open house, so rest assurred I will post ASAP.

P.S. Did you see Jenn, a follower of this blog, has started her own grad school blog. Check it out at http://gradschoolmama2010.blogspot.com/!

Bell Curve

2009-10-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

Something I need to remember about the bell curve is that the major points are the curve are 2%, 16%, 50%, 84%, and 98%.

Percent Change: Remember This Formula?

2009-10-29T09:16:00.000-07:00

Percent change = Difference/Original *100

Percentages--- From Words to Symbols

2009-10-29T08:36:00.001-07:00

We all likely know that percent = something over 100, that is x/100.

Did you also know that in a word problem involving percentages, the following conversions can be made:

is...to...=
of, times product...to...* (multiplication symbol)
what...to...any varibable (example "x," "k," "s," "b, or "f")

So when a problem says 38 is what percent of 78, it is saying 38= ?/100 (78)

Some Other Advice I am Reading on Statements of Purpose

2009-10-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of reading at the discussion forums at Grad Cafe, and below are some of the gems of wisdom I have garnered there regarding Statements of Purpose.

One person from studies in a non-religious field suggested this outline:

I. Introductory paragraph demonstrating academic background

II. Detailed explanation of academic interests and how X school fits into those interests

III. Discussion of the research of a few professors and how my interests/background coincide with theirs.

IV. Senior Thesis (this would be irrelevant to me, as this was not a part of my undergraduate program, which was also in an entirely different field)

V. Concluding paragraph briefly explaining intentions after grad school.

Others have said various things including:

Relate the parts of my background that have prepared me for (or given me my inclinations toward) graduate work; don't tell stories from my life that I find fascinating, but which do not relate to my aptitude or potential in my intended studies with the exception of those stories that demonstrate specifics about my ability to overcome adversity.
Relate my accomplishments in my field but don't talk about extra-curriculars and/or volunteer work that does not relate my field.
Mention the professors with whom I have communicated and how their work relates to my interests, but don't mention students with whom I have communicated, in case they are not doing well in the program.
Use a couple of short quotes if fitting, reference an epigraph from an author I will be studying. Cite things in style consistent with discipline (anyone know what that is for an M.Div?).

That's all helpful. I wonder if there are any peculiarities to an M.Div. statement of purpose?

Statements of Purpose/Personal Statements

2009-10-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine who was worried about my application to Yale Divinity School, given Yale's relative conservatism, suggested if I was going to look at schools out in Connecticut that I also look at Hartford Seminary. So I went online tonight and browsed around a bit, and I found a sample personal statement/statement of purpose for applications for their Master of Arts program (which is different than the Master of Divinity program in which I am interested, but nonetheless)...

http://www.hartsem.edu/academic/guidelinesforpersonalstatement.pdf

I think it is interesting they include such a sample on their website (they also have very step-by-step application instructions), and I was frankly glad to see a sample because I am having a lot of trouble getting much accomplished on my Statement of Purpose.

What do you think of this structure and approach?

Square Roots to Know By Heart

2009-10-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

I need to remember not only perfect square roots and that the square root of 1 is 1, but also:

The square root of 2=1.4 and the square root of 3=1.7.

Timeline Check in For Late October

2009-10-26T18:47:00.000-07:00

I am sick. I admit it. I've been in denial, but I am sick and I am fatigued. This is really throwing a wrench into my timeline. My kids are sick too, with my son having been sick for a week or longer now. He couldn't go to school most of last week. I took both kids to the doctor, but apparently it wasn't too alarming at that time.

Why don't my kids sleep more when they are sick? Neither of my kids ever slow down...EVER. Both my kids have been known to alternate vomiting with playing, or hack-hacking with playing, etc. Now my wife G. is starting to feel sick. If she "goes down" there will be no time for anything but keeping the household running. So pray for us because that will really hurt my chances of doing well.

In terms of my timeline, besides continuing studies and all of that, here is what is up this week (the week of October 25th)...

Lingering issues:

Make contacts at schools
Make a research paper plan
Catch up on studies

New issues:

Begin working on Statement of Purpose again (yikes!)

The Life and Times of an Adult Prospective Divinity School Student

2009-10-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

This post will be a stream-of-consciousness as I begin to drift off to sleep. Please forgive the writing.

Crazy busy and tiring week at work and home. Fell even more behind on all items on my application prep to-do list, including studying for GRE.

However, today I woke up at 5am and drove through rush hour to traffic...to visit a class over at Harvard Divinity. What a treat as always! It was on religious education and children's literature. Basically as I understand it this class explores how children develop their inner lives in part through reading as well as the religious implications of what children read. Here is the description, though the description doesn't, in my opinion, do the class justice. This week's book was The House of Dies Drear. Equally fascinating was that guest author, scholar, and theologian Donna Freitas spent the morning with us in class. I am eager to read her books, especially the recent The Possibilities of Sainthood, (young-adult fiction) about a 15 year old who is convinced her vocation is sainthood...ideally not a dead saint, and another book which I am having trouble locating online but that I thought was called This Gorgeous Gift.

A Master of Theological Studies student stayed after class and talked with me a bit, which I really appreciated. I thanked the professor for allowing me to observe the class, and I went off on a tangent about something the discussion had made me think of, and then tried to reel myself back in. My wheels were just turning like crazy. Then I remembered that I had met one of the other students late this summer at the "Field Studies" office, so I found her in the lobby of the building and reintroduced myself. Finally I headed out.

Anyway, I wish I had hours to tell you all about the thoughts that raced through my head on my long drive home. There were so many rich and interesting treasures to ponder. One thing I decided was that I really want to start a book group for parents of 4th-8th graders at church to essentially explore the same material as this class explores.

I also listened, on my way home, to a very interesting interview with Cornel West on the radio. My mind raced and raced.

I came home this afternoon to a note on the door that my wife and kids had gone to a friend's house due to there being a power outage in our neighborhood (that's really tough in our home since we cook everything from scratch). Went over to see the kids before going into work, but the kids really needed me-- as they haven't spent hardly any time with me for the past few days because of my work schedule-- and my wife really needed time to take care of some stuff such as go back to the house and get organized to go stay with the kids at her mom's house if the power outage continued for the weekend.

The kids were having fun playing with our friend's kids, but by the time I'd gotten there a number of hours had passed and everyone had just had a little much of each other. I offered to leave several times, but my friend insisted we were not an inconvenience and we were too hungry and tired to insist. The kids had fun, but there were many squabbles on and off and by the time we got back home this evening (to power, thank goodness!), I was utterly exhausted. We did bedtime with the kids, and G. and I watched The Office and 30 Rock on the net because, well, I just didn't have an ounce of energy left in me. Which sounds now like a lame excuse. This is the only day I am going to allow for such nonsense. I must study with more discipline because time is running out.

Now I must head to bed because I have to wake up at quarter of 5 in the morning to go take care of a couple things at church and then drive out to Providence for the one-day option of this conference on congregational transformations, for which I thankfully received a scholarship since my professional expense budget was cut to $0 this year.

Then I'll zip home and finish a number of Sunday preparations (ack!). On Sunday I have morning worship and program duties followed by a sex ed class (well, it's not like I am teaching, so I shouldn't take any credit for that), meetings, and a fall carnival. The kids have been invited to three (!) birthday parties on that day, and my son blames my work in the church for not being able to attend all of them. I overheard him tell a friend, "We can't go because my mom is always going to church," which makes me feel like his own faith development is being undermined by his feeling that he needs to compete with the church for my time and energy. I do worry about that a lot. Still, I tried to explain to him that even if our lives weren't complicated by my work that three birthday parties in the same afternoon wouldn't be physically possible. Just not sure he accepts it.

Whew. It's just a lot.

Like I said, sorry about the writing here. I am just so darn tired.

Night.

OMG!

2009-10-22T19:19:00.000-07:00

I am scheduled for the GRE!

I.CAN'T.BELIEVE.IT!

I am going to take it nearly a week earlier than I wanted - and in Connecticut - because the slots were filling everywhere fast. In fact, I originally selected 11/25/09, but my session timed out before the registration was complete, and minutes later when I went back in that date was GONE! Incredible.

The whole process was actually a nightmare. I really hope testing goes more smoothly. But here I am. In the one month countdown.

(Thanks to the generous donors who made it possible for me to register today before this date too was gone...) I'll be tested 11/24/09 at 1:30-5:30 pm. As of 9:00 am 11/23/09, I am going into isolation for my final 28 1/2 hours of study. That will be complete and total isolation, so please plan ahead if you want to give me a ring.

Reward for My Studies: Some "Me" Time

2009-10-21T21:56:00.000-07:00

I didn't get as much studying done tonight as I had hoped...too many distractions including a kid that keeps waking up and not. falling. back. asleep.

But I studied, and I feel good about covering more than one subject tonight, and keeping at it until I could say that I had a fair amount accomplished.

So now I am giving myself the reward of time to reflect on just some of the many things I've learned that can't and won't be tested on the GRE, but that certainly will help me as I journey my way to and through school:

I've learned that memory is helpful but also not the definition of intelligence, and that (most of the time) I can find ways to work with my neurological issues and memory loss.
I've learned more about the type of life I want to live in my second thirty years, which keeps me excited and motivated to work hard for my family's future.
I've learned that I have pretty good intellectual instincts most of the time about many things, and that when I follow my intellectual interests and inclinations, I end up in cool and interesting places.
I've learned that I am a more capable learner than I tend to think.
I've learned that when I immerse myself in interesting experiences that I become more interesting and also smarter.
I've learned that my projects always seem daunting at first, but that if I chip away at things a little bit at a time, I usually accomplish something in the end.
I've learned to be more humble, to listen more, and to assume I know less and have more to learn than I once thought.
I've learned that if I want to learn something, I have to teach it. Thank goodness I am a mother!
I've learned that curiosity may have opened Pandora's box and killed the cat, but that it also has been the foundation of almost every great discovery of all time.
I've learned to accept approbation at face value, and to not fear my own joy as much as I once did.
I've learned to sit still, be quiet, and lean in (though I am a little out of practice).
I've learned to trust only change, and hopefully, I am learning to be less anxious about it.
I've learned to be more comfortable with my human need for assistance.
I've learned to value relationships, though I am still learning how to make longer commitments to other people without being overcome by ennui or fears of commitment.
I've learned that when I am on the right path, I know it.
I've learned more and more to open my heart to joy.
And I've learned my daughter sleeps better when I am asleep, so I had better be off to bed... :-)

October 21st Vocab Challenge

2009-10-21T21:41:00.001-07:00

My challenge is to build a sentence with all three of today's vocabulary words. As with all other vocabulary posts, feel free to correct my use of the words, make suggestions, or anything else that might help me study. Here's my sentence:

At first driven only by the need for approbation, she stuck with a canonical writing style, but it did not take long before she was overcome by ennui and felt the need to abandon all tradition so that her creative instincts could take over.

October 21st Vocab Words

2009-10-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

Note that I study all material, even that which is just a review.

Feel free to post challenges for me, make memorization suggestions, correct misused words, or whatever else you want. The reason I am doing this is for the fun of an interactive study experience.

Below are three vocab words, with a link to a sound clip and definition as well as the definition given by my study manual...and several vocabulary sentences made up by yours truly.

approbation (noun): an expression of approval or praise

Her appetite for approbation could not be satiated.
It's not that I need approbation; I simply don't want criticism.
It was long thought that children developed in a positive fashion when they received regular approbation, but the research consistently showed that children became anxious about accomplishing when adults gave such constant feedback to the children.
I was feeling very high about my accomplishments, and the approbation I received only boosted me further.
To earn her approbation, he worked harder than he ever had in his life, and with alacrity took on any challenge she offered.
We don't need your approbation, just stay out of our way.
I was surprised to receive approbation from such high-powered, intelligent people who I had for so long admired.
Without approbation, she felt lost for a direction, and she regularly questioned her own authority despite an outward appearance of confidence.
If you want approbation, try asking your real questions rather than sucking up and hiding your own light by agreeing with everything they say. They may question you back, but they'll respect you for your intelligence.
In my parenting style, I try not to demand that my children always have my approbation, but instead that they decide independently what they believe to be right in many situations.

canonical (noun): following or in agreement with accepted, traditional standards (dictionary also indicates a couple other definitions, and it has a mathematical use as well)

The canonical texts are certainly of critical interest, but I find studying the apocrypha also to be an important aspect of biblical scholarship.
Clearly I have a different idea than she, about what literature is canonical in this day and age in our culture.
Though I read constantly, I would not be considered by most to be well-read, as I am unfamiliar with almost all canonical works and tend instead to read obscure and non-fiction pieces.
My writing is non-canonical, with lengthy sentences that while grammatically acceptable, most readers find unfamiliar and unpleasant.
He considered himself a Christian, but his beliefs, expression, and practice of the religion where far from canonical.
Learning the canonical sentence structures was critical in the development of her ability to make clear and cogent arguments in court.
The funeral was deeply religious and completely canonical, and we were relieved to know what to expect.
If he had been a canonical writer, he would have been more popular but less interesting.

ennui (noun): dissatisfaction and restlessness resulting from boredom or apathy

Her professional failures were more a result of ennui than a lack of ability. She simply gave in to her boredom.
I was surprised by his ennui. He seemed a bright student who could have made interesting challenges for himself academically if only he had not been so apathetic.
Your ennui has, quite frankly, become boring in and of itself. Get a life!
The best treatment for ennui is a fresh approach to the same problem.
The myths centered on the idea of the suburban so-called "housewife," her presumed ennui, and the mistaken notion that women stir up trouble for the pleasure of doing so.
I wouldn't call it a mid-life crisis as much as the result of ennui.
Experiencing an unrelenting sense of ennui, he fled the country and spent three years backpacking across Europe.
Ennui is the gift that helps us avoid a life of little depth, driving us to challenge our apathetic tendencies with activities of greater meaning.

Cool!

2009-10-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

I just put on a PBS show on the financial mess to listen to while studying, and within the first few minutes, I heard an October 15th vocab word: irascible. Remember that one? It means easily angered; prone to outbursts.

Check it out. Looks like it is going to be a really interesting show:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/warning/view/

Midweek Check-In

2009-10-21T18:20:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I reported that I would be catching up on last week's tasks as well as doing additional tasks for this week. Here was the totality of the list:

∆ Study at least 1-2 hours daily for GRE, making up where possible for missed studying
∆ Make at least two contacts at schools, preferably three
∆ RSVP to open houses
∆ Research paper (find or, if not found, decide what to do)
∆ Attend a class or event

It's time to ask, "how am I doing?"

Studying has been going so-so. I've not made a full two hours each night, and last night I didn't study at all. But tonight I am able to study for a few hours, which helps.
I haven't made any new contacts at the schools. However, I did, as described in another post, get in touch with a professor from a class I'd previously visited at one of the schools. I also reached out to another professor, whose class I plan to attend on Friday, though I haven't heard back (ugh).
I did RSVP to open houses.
On the issue of the research paper, I have done more hunting. I also called the school where I did my undergraduate studies to see if I could track down the professor who helped me with the paper, just on the off chance he for some reason kept it (doubt it, but I am desperate). I haven't heard back yet. I've yet to face the dark question about what I'll do if I can't find it.
I'm scheduled to attend a class for a few hours on Friday. Barring illness, that should get accomplished.

Memorizing Common Fraction, Decimal, and Percentage Conversions

2009-10-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed this (?) ...

I tend to use the blog (when studying) for things I need to memorize. I don't work through *how* to do the problems or complexities. I just focus on the basics of memorization here, while doing the rest of my studies on paper. Interesting.

Anyway, along those lines, my study guide recommends memorizing common fractions and decimals in the form of percentages in order to easily eliminate answers that are particularly off the mark.

Some are things I've naturally memorized in the course of my life, and I am sure you have too:

1.0 = 1/1 = 100%
2.0 = 2/1 = 200%
0.25 = 1/4 = 25%
0.5 = 1/2 = 50%
0.75 = 3/4 = 75%

Some are very familiar and perhaps already somewhat memorized, or easy to quickly figure out, even if I have to review them in order to recommit them to memory:

0.01 = 1/100 = 1%
0.1 = 1/10 = 10%
0.2 = 1/5 = 20%
0.4 = 2/5 = 40%
0.8 = 4/5 = 80%

Others I need to spend just a tad more time on to truly memorize:

0.333 = 1/3 (that part is familiar) = 33 1/3% (that I didn't realize)
0.6 = 3/5 (that part I would have had to calculate) = 60% (this I knew)
0.666... = 2/3 (that part is somewhat familiar) = 66 2/3% (that I didn't know)

This is how I know I'll be horribly disappointed if I don't get in...

2009-10-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

Last spring I visited one of the schools to which I am applying, and attended a class while I was there. I emailed the professor today to ask for a copy of his syllabus so that I can use the reading list for a project I am working on, and he emailed me back a syllabus (as well as some helpful correspondence about the project). As I was reading the syllabus, my heart raced with the thrill and excitement. I also felt a pang of sadness, as I won't have time to read even 10% of what was on the reading list. It just all seems so INTERESTING!

I can't wait to begin my studies, and though I am mildly nervous about keeping up with fast-paced classes while parenting my wee ones (and perhaps continuing my work for pay), for the first time in my adult education I am confident I will be met at the appropriate level of challenge...as long as I get in.

"Oh please, oh please, oh please" goes my prayer :-).

Timeline Check-In

2009-10-19T12:35:00.000-07:00

We're on week two of my prep plan, and it's time to check in about how I've done so far with the schedule.

Week of October 11th:
∆ Study at least 1-2 hours daily for GRE
∆ Make initial 1-2 contacts at schools (1 hour)
∆ RSVP to open houses, etc.

Hmmm...well, I didn't do so well. I did study 1-2 hours daily for the most part, so I can feel good about that. However, I missed a day or two of studying, and I also didn't get as far in my studies as I needed.

As for making the initial contacts, I need to make up that time this week. And I also need to take care of the RSVPs. I just forgot those two things were on my to-do list.

Week of October 18th:
∆ Study at least 1-2 hours daily for GRE
∆ Make another contact at schools (1/2 hour)
∆ Research paper (find or, if not found, decide what to do)
∆ Attend a class or event

I've got a full week according to this list, especially since I am making up for last week already. Yikes! I think it is still reasonable, though, because basically I will just be adding one hour to my school contact time and twenty minutes or so for open house RSVPs. That's less than an hour and a half of extra work. That said, I am *extremely* nervous about dealing with the research paper.

I better fasten my seatbelt!

October 18th Vocab Challenge

2009-10-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

My challenge is to build a sentence with all three of today's vocabulary words. As with all other vocabulary posts, feel free to correct my use of the words, make suggestions, or anything else that might help me study. Here's my sentence:

She was austere and highly valued modesty in all things, and would even strangely abscond when given the opportunity to speak, which was in stark contrast to the effrontery of her husband.

October 18th Vocab Words

2009-10-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

Note that I study all material, even that which is just a review. Feel free to post challenges for me, make memorization suggestions, correct misused words, or whatever else you want. The reason I am doing this is for the fun of an interactive study experience.

Below are three vocab words, with a link to a sound clip and definition as well as the definition given by my study manual...and several vocabulary sentences made up by yours truly.

Abscond (verb): to depart clandestinely; to steal off and hide

He had only been charged with a misdemeanor, so why he chose to abscond, I'll never understand.
I wouldn't have been suspicious if she hadn't absconded.
I plan to abscond as the night wears on, as it is not my desire to be seen by the living.
I didn't know what to think of him; he mysteriously absconded before dessert.
Like a frightened animal, he absconded.
As she was at low risk for absconding, she was granted a supervised release.
Each evening he would abscond to feed his need, keeping his meth addiction a secret from his family for at least a few months.
Humiliated, the temptation to abscond overcame him.

Austere (adjective): without adornment; bare; severely simple; ascetic (according to the online dictionaries can also mean something of a harshness or sternness, a strictness)

Beyond plain, he was austere.
An overprivileged, greedy man, he looked down on her austere presentation.
Little did he know that her austerity was a privilege of its own kind.
She longed for an austere life, free from the burdens of materialism and full of the blessings of spirituality.
After giving it fair trial, Siddhartha rejected the most austere life, left the ascetics, and found the freedom he was searching for without subjecting his body to punishment.
I was impressed by her austerity, and more than that, the joyfulness she found in a life of unfailing discipline and simplicity.
He was an austere father, but lavishly loving none the less.
In such an austere setting, we were sullen.

Effrontery (noun): extreme boldness; presumptuousness

With this brand of effrontery, there is no doubt why sexism sells.
It wasn't idealism that was her downfall, but her incessant effrontery.
Brazen, he approached and confronted the dignitary with astonishing effrontery.
Her most audacious behavior was the result of effrontery, which had gone unchecked for far too long.
It was with little effrontery that she finally asked for what she needed; after all, it had taken much courage and she was still not convinced she deserved to have her needs met.
I was taken aback by his effrontery, and it took me some time to regain my composure, let alone any sense of self-assurance.
She approached me with such effrontery, that I could think of nothing else to day but "yes...okay," and it wasn't until she left that I began to realize the extent to which I'd compromised my own beliefs by acquiescing to her vision.
If it had not been for her effrontery, we would have never finished this project, as sometimes you need the fearless ego of one or two people who know nothing of "no" to push through the resistance.

Brush off Those Multiplication Tables

2009-10-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

There are a couple mistakes on this video, but overall pretty good. I feel like if I worked out to it and said the answers as I went that it might help me brush up.

And then there is this this too...
multiplicationhiphopforkids.com

Cool!

2009-10-17T18:05:00.000-07:00

I love these tricks...

And there's more, but it costs $42 to get them! Wah!

Once You Learn This System...

2009-10-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

It might help for checking work:

Really Basic Math Review: Math Vocabulary

2009-10-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

Factors vs. Multiples

As I recall, in b x c=a, b and c are factors of a

Someone please now explain what a multiple is in a way that does not have me confusing it with a factor. My brain just can't, for some reason, comprehend the difference.

However, these all are straight forward math vocab terms to me that I just needed to quickly review and recommit to memory:

product=result of multiplication
quotient=result of division
divisor=number you divide by
numerator=top number in a fraction
denominator=bottom number in a fraction

Eliminating Answer Choices in the Math Section

2009-10-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

Here is one of those tricks to quickly eliminate answer choices from math questions without finishing all calculations for the problem. It involves returning to 5th or 6th grade math and just going through the options and crossing out those that simply don't fit due to basic arithmetic, once the problem is in its simplest form. Of course, it only works for a couple types of problems, that can be simplified into this form, but every bit helps.

pos x pos= positive
neg x neg= positive
post x neg= negative

even + even= even
odd + odd= even
even + off= odd

even x even= even
odd x odd= odd
even x odd= even

If these last two sets are forgotten, just knowing that the rules exist is helpful. Then you can plug in a couple numbers to figure out the rule.

October 15th Vocab Challenge

2009-10-15T22:04:00.000-07:00

My challenge is to build a sentence with all three of today's vocabulary words. As with all other vocabulary posts, feel free to correct my use of the words, make suggestions, or anything else that might help me study. Here's my sentence:

My supervisor, perpetually aggitated and irascible, treated every notion that crossed her mind as exigent, yet she was capricious and on more than one occassion had me re-do work to fit entirely new imaginations, which I did more out of fear of her angry outbursts than a particular investment in the job.

October 15th Vocab Words

2009-10-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

Note that I study all material, even that which is just a review. Feel free to post challenges for me, make memorization suggestions, correct misused words, or whatever else you want. The reason I am doing this is for the fun of an interactive study experience.

Below are three vocab words, with a link to a sound clip and definition as well as the definition given by my study manual...and several vocabulary sentences made up by yours truly.

exigent (adjective): urgent, pressing; requiring immediate action or attention (according to online dictionary, also "demanding much")

The whole thing felt exigent only to me, but nonetheless, I could not sleep until the job was completed.
The questions that called me awake in the night were existential ones, and though they were not earthly, they were no less exigent.
The letter arrived second-day air, clearly having been seen as exigent by its sender.
The judge operated his court without treating any case as more exigent than others, and having waited many hours to have our case heard, we were finally called to our testimony.
The pain was acute and exigent, and we made haste to the hospital where he was treated for a hemorrhage.
"Exigent circumstance" is a legal term involving entry without warrant because of the belief that potential that harm is otherwise imminent.
The circumstances were nothing short of exigent, and we first involved the local police department, followed soon by the public works authorities.
By middle school, sexuality education is an exigent matter.

capricious (adjective): inclined to change one's mind impulsively; erratic; unpredictable

I'm capricious because I am a Gemini, and I am of two minds about everything I do.
If you insist on being capricious, we will insist on a signed contract.
The congregation, unusually capricious in nature, hired several contactors in succession and without due process, and eventually the building expansion failed.
If she wasn't so capricious, I'd tell my children ahead of time that she said she'd come over, but I'd hate for them to look forward to seeing her only to later be disappointed.
I dread shopping with my capricious husband.
Fear of potentially capricious member behavior causes most organizations to have limited opportunities for organizational change and for the checks and balances to weigh most heavily on the side of caution.
To many, the ruling seemed arbitrary and capricious, but not to those who had carefully followed the case as it made its way through the courts.
If he wasn't capricious, and we could count on him, he wouldn't be himself, but he would be easier to live with.

irascible (adjective): easily angered; prone to tempermental outbursts

Because he was irascible, he was prone to fulminate, and we usually avoided him.
Before begining treatment for depression, his friends regretfully described him as irascible and abusive.
I never could figure out why I loved her so much, as irascible as she was and as much as she would fulminate for days on end.
We forgave them for being so irascible, as afterall, they were sleep-deprived teenagers.
Despite the reputation that my father had of being a crotchety old man, I find that as I age, I am less irascible, more patient and forgiving, and more even-keeled.
I was narrscistic and irrascible, and I have no idea how they put up with me for so long.
The gorilla, in a state of utter grief over the loss of her child, was irascible and at times violent, and we feared approaching her with the tranquilizer, though she very much needed the medical attention.
You'd have more friends if you weren't so irrascible.

Do You Remember "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally?"

2009-10-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

PEMDAS

You might remember learning this in your pre-algebra or early algebra days. It's a way to remember the order of operations for problems that require more than one type of operation.

Please=P=Parentheses
Excuse=E=Exponents
My=M=Multiplication...Dear=D=Division -->mutliplication and division are done together in the same step from left to right
Aunt=A=Addition...Sally=S=Subtraction -->addition and subtraction are done together in the same step from left to right

P...E...M/D -->....A/S -->

Handy to have tricks like that, I think. Good to be reminded. And fun to try a few problems to practice the order. Feel free to challenge me with a few problems to test my ability to follow order of operations.