Gasp, Gasp...Pant, Pant

My work is keeping me insanely busy right now, and trying to pull through to the finish line on the school applications, is well, quite the race against the clock.

HDS Statement of Purpose: Am doing another set of edits, thanks to the good editing advice of 3+ reviewers (thanks folks!). I am down to just being 378 306 words over the limit instead of 550+ words over the limit, and the writing is much stronger now. Those last 378 306 words...it is like pulling teeth, however. I don't feel like I can cut much more. I might just submit it as is over the word limit (yikes!). How bad do you think that would be?

HDS Essay: Written, and reviewed by a few reviewers, but I haven't even begun my edits!

HDS General Application: Most of it is done, but there are some significant pieces on which I need to get to work.

HDS Financial Aid Application: I need to make some tough strategical decision about the FASFA, finish that up, and then locate and plug in a few more numbers on the application (oh no...and also mail a copy of my W-2 I think...eeeks!)

I was hoping to submit the HDS stuff early, but it looks like it will be on time at best. The absolute latest deadline for the HDS application, including the financial aid application is Monday. I should submit it on Sunday in case there are any problems with the website (servers do crash when lots of folks rush to use them at once afterall) or other technical issues.

THEN...

YDS Statement of Purpose: Not even begun! I am hoping some of my HDS statement of purpose will smoothly transfer, and this one won't be nearly as painful and time consuming to write (oh pretty, pretty please!).

YDS Essay: I've begun writing, and as usual have written a lot, but have yet to find a focus or really get anything accomplished.

YDS General Application: It's about half done. Maybe.

YDS Financial Aid Application: The good news is that once the FASFA is done, it is done for all schools. Since the HDS deadline is days away, including for the FASFA, I will have that done very soon. (done)

The YDS-specific financial aid application I have not yet started, but the deadline is in late February or early March if memory serves (does it ever?), so I could even wait until after I get the application materials submitted to ANTS and MLTS before coming back to this item.

The YDS deadline is exactly one week away...next Friday the 15th. Which means I should submit at the very, very latest on Thursday. Thank goodness I can put off that financial aid stuff and buckle down on these writing tasks. OMG!

That leaves ANTS and MLTS, of which I have done very little, but I am not even going to think about them until after the 15th. They have rolling admissions, and at this point I will be happy if I get them done by the 25th or 30th.

Hum-De-Dum

....I've been trying for waaaaay too much time tonight (after arriving back from work at nearly midnight) to fix a computer that is having trouble opening documents. I really need to get my HDS essay edited, so this is quite a frustration. Figured I'd kill some time complaining about it here to you while I wait for my latest attempt at a fix to work its magic. Hum-De-Dum.

Thanks for listening!

Hooray!

I heard back from my last recommender (the professor...a key person in all this), and she said no problem about getting my letter submitted to HDS this weekend. Of course, I am sure I'll be nervous anyway up until the minute I see it uploaded, but that's inevitable. I am glad to have heard from her.

Never Made a Slower Charge to the Finish Line

HDS Statement of Purpose: Am doing another set of edits, thanks to the good editing advice of 3+ reviewers (thanks folks!). I am down to just being 378 words over the limit instead of 550+ words over the limit, and the writing is much stronger now. Those last 378 words...it is like pulling teeth, however. I don't feel like I can cut much more. I might just submit it as is (yikes!). How bad do you think that would be?

HDS Essay: Written, and reviewed by a few reviewers, but I haven't even begun my edits!

HDS General Application: Most of it is done, but there are some significant pieces on which I need to get to work.

HDS Financial Aid Application: I need to make some tough strategical decision about the FASFA, finish that up, and then locate and plug in a few more numbers on the application (oh no...and also mail a copy of my W-2 I think...eeeks!)

I was hoping to submit the HDS stuff early, but it looks like it will be on time at best. The absolute latest deadline for the HDS application, including the financial aid application is Monday. I should submit it on Sunday in case there are any problems with the website (servers do crash when lots of folks rush to use them at once afterall) or other technical issues.

THEN...

YDS Statement of Purpose: Not even begun! I am hoping some of my HDS statement of purpose will smoothly transfer, and this one won't be nearly as painful and time consuming to write (oh pretty, pretty please!).

YDS Essay: I've begun writing, and as usual have written a lot, but have yet to find a focus or really get anything accomplished.

YDS General Application: It's about half done. Maybe.

YDS Financial Aid Application: The good news is that once the FASFA is done, it is done for all schools. Since the HDS deadline is days away, including for the FASFA, I will have that done very soon. The YDS specific application I have not yet started, but the deadline is in late February or early March if memory serves (does it ever?), so I could even wait until after I get the application materials submitted to ANTS and MLTS before coming back to this item.

The YDS deadline is exactly one week away...next Friday the 15th. Which means I should submit at the very, very latest on Thursday. Thank goodness I can put off that financial aid stuff and buckle down on these writing tasks. OMG!

That leaves ANTS and MLTS, of which I have done very little, but I am not even going to think about them until after the 15th. They have rolling admissions, and at this point I will be happy if I get them done by the 25th or 30th.

Relief on Letter of Recommendation Front

Alright, breathing just a bit easier right now. One of my recommenders submitted his letter to Harvard. He still has to do the other schools, but yeah!

Another recommender from whom I asked for only one letter to go to the school that required an extra letter (since I needed two academic references for most schools and didn't have them, I chose to focus on folks who have worked with me day-to-day because I thought they'd have the most insight into my academic potential...this recommendor knows me well but not day-t0-day, and she has never supervised me) has mailed it off, and she also sent me a copy and OMG am I honored by the things she said.

I only have one recommender (my academic reference...ack!) currently missing in action. Hopefully I'll hear from her soon that she's got the letter done.

muhney, muhney, muhnay, MUH-NAY!

Because one of the schools to which I am applying requires all financial aid application materials (including the FASFA, using 2008 numbers for 2009 estimates) to be submitted at the same time as the application by January 11th, I am starting to think about money.

I am looking for private scholarship dollars and grant sources. I'll keep a bit of a running tally here of fund sources that may be applicable to me when I run across them, with any deadline info I can find (surprisingly difficult to come by in many cases). Here's just a start:

• http://www.nextstudent.com/directory-of-scholarships/Religion/0034/103548/Religious-Unitarian-John-scholarship.aspx (April)
• http://www.uua.org/leaders/leaderslibrary/ministerialcredentialing/16213.shtml (Varying dates. Seems like most are March or April. It's amazing how much there is to keep track of in this process. Apparently I need to act fast after my acceptance at a school in order to gain "aspirant" status with my association of congregations so that I can be eligible for these funds. This will require me to do some writing, complete some interviews, done a financial planning thing, and more! Yipes!)

The Procrastinator's Friends

Procrastination on my part has 100% of its origin in FEAR. I'm not lazy, but I am still working on my self-esteem. When I am procrastinating, it is a sure sign I am being pushed to grow in a way that is scary to me. It comes out through these vices.

1. Doing research for the necessary papers...beyond the point of it being helpful. Or doing unfocused research while my brain scatters in 101 directions.

2. Worrying and obsessing about things I am not doing for work while I chip away at my applications...or vice versa. (As a working mom I've sometimes said that I feel like I am either failing at my work or failing as a mom and that I can't seem to do both really well. This is one more area in which I feel like I get unbalanced easily.)

3. Watching tv shows online.

4. Gabbing online about areas of life in which I feel more competent.

5. Blogging here (though this also is a helpful way to vent and let off steam in this stressful process).

6. Since my dog died just before Christmas: (A) Feeling a valid and legitimate sadness about my dog and then slipping into a funk or more recently...(B) Taking my sad feelings and giving them a release by going on Petfinder.com or researching dog stuff online so I can dream of a future day with a future dog, or (C) Related to #3 above, watching "The Dog Whisperer" and planning ahead for future dogs. Oh, also (D) trying to find out housing stuff for when I am in school so I can have clues before March whether I can get another dog this year or whether I'll have to wait until I am done with school and then moved/settled somewhere.

7. Combing through the status of my applications to check and double-check and then check again what I still have to do.

8. Taking a break every sentence when I am writing. Eating during every few breaks (not good at all for my weight and health). Refilling drinks. Going out to the car to get stuff I need. Running to work to get materials I could use that are there. Etc.

9. Sleeping.

10. Reading and being critical of things I've written in the past.

11. Reading papers I've finished but am not yet ready to edit, with no intention of actually editing them...more to feel badly about how rough they still sound.

12. Futile efforts to gain control over aspects of the application process that I can't control. Wringing my hands over missed opportunities (interviews that didn't go well, etc.).